Persistence

My older son Caleb is trying to figure out so many new things. The other day we worked for awhile on how to blow a bubble with his gum. I remember when I was little, I sat in front of a mirror for what seemed like hours trying to achieve the art of blowing a bubble with my gum! He's also working really hard on trying to figure out how to tie his shoe. So we continue to practice until he finally gets it!

As I was helping Caleb figure out how to blow a bubble, we found that we were laughing together & having fun trying to figure it all out! It took me a moment of trying to blow a bubble myself to remember how exactly to do it because I don't even have to think about how to do it anymore. Flatten your gum with your mouth....put your tongue through the middle of the flat part & while you're holding on to the edges with your mouth...blow. What?! Sounds kind of odd to explain in words...I just do it now.

Persistence eventually turns into unacknowledged habit. I desire that in my walk with the Lord. I "practice" so much and do things like being in the Word & prayer that is just become second nature and I don't even think about it anymore...I just do it! Over & over...studying the Word so that as I read it, I go deeper and eventually just start "blowing." The Lord desires us to hide His Word in our hearts. Inhigh-school I had to memorize the book of James twice. To this day, I remember passages of it & find that those verses come to my mind as I'm going through a situation.

I long for my love & passion for the Lord to continually just become like a bubble that is blown over & over, after being ever faithful in my persistent practice of it.

Falling into Him....

This morning was an earlier one for me as Levi decided he was hungry at 6am. I get him and bring him to the living room rocking chair to feed him and I find my husband on his knees in prayer at the couch. I was convicted....when was the last time I actually got on my knees to pray to the Lord? It was such a beautiful sight. For at that moment I saw again in my husband a man of prayer & passion for the Lord. What desire He has to pursue the things of the Lord and be in prayer for our family everyday. As the spiritual leader of our home, I find such great comfort in the fact that he realizes that the Lord has anointed him to lead our family in the ways in the Lord. Truly, what an example he is.

Prayer is such a discipline that I strive for. As a mom, I find that I'm saying little prayers throughout the day, but I'm sure...no, I know that the Lord would love if I would spend quality time with Him everyday just like I do my children and husband. I know the Lord loves us on our knees...I'm not sure that it's really vital in speaking with the Lord as I like to view the Lord at times as a friend I just converse with all day. BUT, I know that the art of being on our knees is a true humbleness in relentless prayer as we pour out our heart to God. There have been many things in my life that have brought me to my knees in prayer...at a moment of desperation I fall into Him. Maybe that's where God desires us most...on our knees, falling into Him.

C.S. Lewis quote constantly visits my mind..."Prayer doesn't change God, it changes us." Whether is be on our knees or conversing with Him throughout the day, I do know this..my heart is changed. For I long for His heart's desires to be mine and maybe I should revisit falling into Him.

Missing my Caleb....

I walk back into my home this morning and it's a bit more quiet...
Tears swelling up in my eyes...
I'm letting you go a little bit more today dear one...
You're off to a world that can be cruel and disheartening....

I won't be there when you fall down & scrape your knee, kissing it as I always do...
I won't be there from moment to moment and see your eyes light up at new ideas & thoughts...
I won't be there to experience every detail like I have been for the last 4 1/2 years....

It's way harder today than I thought it would be...
Letting you go a little bit more from my hands and committing you even more into His...
I know though that you'll love every moment of learning & experiencing new things...

But for every moment I can't be there, I know He always is...
For every cruel word or moment with another, I know He'll comfort you...
For every scrape you experience, He'll be there to wipe your tears...

May the Lord keep you under His wings and may know how much I already miss you...
I love you my sweet Caleb....