Wednesday, April 15, 2009


Have you ever realized how much of your life is about "self"? So many things we do and motives we have are really indulged in how it will affect us. I recently have been extremely convicted about this in my life, realizing so many areas and my lack of self control.

Galatians 5: 22-23
"But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control."

As believers we don't often view a lack of self-control as least I didn't view it much that way until recently. For my frequent readers you know that I struggle with weight issues, have all my life. In the past few months I've really desired a break through in this area and a victory over a battle that has been mine for so long. What I realized though is that all my life I wanted to lose weight to look better on the outside and yes, yes...ultimately be healthy & take care of this body God had given me, but pridefully I wanted to look good! I think as the human race we can all relate. It wasn't until a rash broke out on my body after having strep throat & taking awhile to go away that the Lord started to work in me through this, or I should say I started to listen to what God wanted to teach me in this area. You see, it's not about the outward appearance but the eternal motives that God wanted to work on, but all I could get focused on was losing weight to look good and I was failing every time.

So, here I was...a fun rash all over and still not losing weight and I went into a period of anguish and questioning. Why would God allow a double whammy into an area that He knows is already difficult for me? But then my sweet Lord revealed Himself in a way I hadn't seen before. He spoke to my heart allowing me to realize that it wasn't about will power, or losing weight, or being healthy, or ultimately trying to do everything in my own was about addressing the sin in my life of my lack of self-control. Do I have self control even in indulging in 2 or 3 helpings of what I might consider healthy/good food? Does everything I put into my mouth bring glory to Him? Do I have self-control in every area of my life? Does everything I do bring glory to Him?

Self-control is a by product of having the Holy Spirit dwell inside me and that comes only by accepting Christ into my life and surrendering it to Him. We can not do anything other than through the power of the Holy Spirit. Oh, we might attempt it and "think" we've succeeded but we haven't because self is glorified or we eventually fail. Realizing the fact that I don't go into eating and exercise to look good but to address the sin in my life in not having self control and the fact that I desire to surrender every part of my heart and life to Him, not just my selected sins.

Taking up my cross's a daily & sometimes moment by moment journey for me. For truly this heart of mine desires Him and Him alone...I am nothing-He is everything and all I desire is more of Him. Self-control....putting aside self to glorify Him.