Wednesday, October 31, 2007

More info on Mini-Me Wednesday???

I've had several of you ask what I eat for breakfast since I'm trying to stay away from carbs. It's not easy..let me tell you! I'm a carb person for sure...throw in a little chocolate & I'm a happy woman...Oh wait, not any more...yucky, yucky! HA!

Here's what I've had a few times for breakfast:

Apple with 2 TB of Peanut Butter, orange, & a non-fat latte (my treat!) OR

I finely cut up zucchini & onions & saute them in a pan. Then I add 2 eggs & scramble it all together. Finally, I add about 3oz. of cheese & from what I've learned Sharp Cheddar or Swiss are better for you. Sometimes I might have a piece of turkey bacon. I then have my latte & a piece of fruit. NOW, let me tell you...I'm NOT much of an egg person. But, for some reason when I add the veggies & cheese it helps me & then if I have turkey bacon, I'm completely fine.

I've also had mornings in which I'll have salsa or avocado along with this meal.

Thank you for those who asked...I love sharing my new education on all this! It's kind of fascinating to me.

Mini-Me Wednesday???

Yes, I I'm behind, but happy to report that things are progressing in the right direction. Mid week last week I gained a pound & yes, I was disappointed..even cried a bit. But, I got right back up & worked on things again. So, last week I lost all that I had gained along with a few extra tenths of a pound...yes, I said tenths. Hey, in my world they all count! So, I'm down 8 pounds as of yesterday! But, more exciting to me is that I'm meeting every other week with a friends who's educated herself extremely well on nutrition & has been training me on foods in the area of glycemic levels. Did you realize that when you have a carbohydrate for breakfast that you're spiking your sugars levels and set yourself up the rest of the day for carb & sugar cravings? I didn', I've been focusing on protein & fruit for breakfast. I also went to my doctor to have blood taken to see if I have a glutton sensitivity. If I do, what my friend said was that my weight loss journey would be like walking up a mountain in high heels....difficult. So, I'm awaiting those results. Needless to say it has been a productive week & I'm feeling good. Do I always love every moment, no - but I'm giving myself more grace & again working on becoming healthy & having the weight loss become just a huge's hard to change your mental state regarding that scale!! So, there you have it!!

On a side note...thank you for your comments on my "Taking a Stand" posting. Most of you don't know me real well & honestly I believe in taking a stand on things, but I have a hard time knowing what people are going to think of me & how it's going to affect a, I even hesitated in this post because I don't want to offend. But, I appreciated your feedback on things & for listening to what the Lord has put on our hearts.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Taking a Stand!

I don't use this word often, but I HATE halloween. I hate everything it stands for, why it's celebrated...HATE. It's an evil holiday and I honestly don't think people, especially those who aren't believers realize the spiritual warfare and power that is all apart of this day.

So, I write this post with no heart of offending or casting judgement, but a new challenge for believers...something to ponder because it says in the Word that as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. (my own paraphrase)

As a child we didn't acknowledge that the holiday of halloween even existed - no trick or treating, no harvest parties at church that night - there was no acknowledgment of it. This is obviously where a lot of my example came from and now that I have children I wonder what I'm speaking to my them regarding this day? As a believer I want to be different from the world - set apart. Why then would I be apart of celebrating a most evil holiday? I know some might not think they are celebrating it, but just having fun & getting candy, but I feel that by taking part in this day we are saying that it exists & I guess I'm taking a stand against that. I know some might think I'm ridiculous & so petty...hey, kids are just dressing up and getting candy, having fun...harmless, right?! But I think, isn't that how the enemy works? Sneaking into things that seem harmless and especially going after our children...thinking it's ok to participate in such a worldly, evil day.

As a believer I feel it's time to take a stand! It's not a judgement or a "I'm holier than you"'s just saying that I want to be like Jesus! I honestly don't think that the Lord would want us to partake in any form of participation in this day. This day is such a huge ordeal with the demonic and evil community and I don't want any part of it...just look at some of the's evil.

Again, this is a personal conviction that we have in our family & I don't wish to cast judgement on you, but to challenge us all in being different from the world...set apart for Him. Yes, I might come across as offensive and for that I'm sorry & it's not my heart intention...but I challenge you in this to see what the Holy Spirit might be doing in your heart.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

What I know...

Our pastor today posed this question, "What am I doing with what I know?"

I have been a believer in Jesus Christ since I was 4 years old. Christ has always been who I am & is everything I'll ever be. Sometimes in that though there can be a forgetfulness in sharing what I know, what I believe, Who died for me, Who lives eternally in my heart, Whom I'll go Home to be with someday. I was hit with the realization of always remembering to not just share about this life with my children, but to share with them about all Who really matters in this life. It was a good reminder for me. I think for me a better question would be, "Do I continually share what I know of Christ with my children...does everything point them to the cross?"

My pastor continued on to say, "Do what you can with where you're at." So that's what I do.....I put my heart, soul, & everyday passion into doing what I can exactly where the Lord put me...right in my home with my family. God hasn't sent me out into the mission field, he hasn't impressed on my heart to share door to door. He's put souls right in front of me. He's put little hearts in my home eager to grasp the things of the Lord.

So, I ask you this..."What are you doing with Whom you know?" Do you have family that need to know Him, friends that need to know His grace? What's holding you back? What really do you have to lose that wouldn't allow them to gain eternity. When all is said and done I don't think any of us as believers will say, "My fear paid off & I'm sure glad I didn't share Christ with them."

God brought the mission field to me and they are my precious love extended....Caleb, Benjamin, & Levi. The best gift I have to give awaits them and it's up to me to constantly be filling their hearts with Him.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

A distant sun....

I gazed out the window viewing the beauty of God's creation. Through the sheer curtains and glass I view a distant sun shinning barley through the trees and marvel at the love His grace shows us. Who would have imagined that the God of the universe would create such an amazing sight simply for our pleasure. It's not's not's not burdensome. It's's's peace. It's a moment to breathe.

There's a calm in His His love. There's rest in His in His Word. It's a knowing that He's always there. All of this shines through His creation & I'm awe struck for a moment as I sit and hold my precious son. Rocking, giving him life enriching food, loving him....gazing through my window.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007


I'm mind...senses in me that are causing me to not accomplish simple things in my home because I have so much to do! What I'm finding is that the things that "need" to be done are being put to the way side by things that I "want" to blogging and email. As you've probably noticed, I haven't blogged as consistently as I used to. My days are so incredible full and I don't even really go anywhere. Last night at 7pm I was vaccuming my home....shouldn't I be resting by this point in the day?...No, I rest at 8:30pm.

I know the Lord didn't intend for my life or heart to feel this way. I'm stressed, overwhelmed, & by own personal "wants"'s self-inflicted! My new blogging friend Short Stop challenged me yesterday with her thoughts while we were g-chatting. She spoke to my heart in that she tries to only blog or be on the computer when her kids are resting or down for the evening. I need to do that. I'm guilty of sometimes popping in Sesame Street (or what I like to call "homeschooling" ha!) and opening up this machine...what kind of mom have I become..replacing hardware for flesh & blood. It's hard though, I love blogging...but not in place of them....never!

So, you might not see my blog as often because I'll be with my boys or actually accomplishing things in my home. You might not hear a comment from me as much, but I'm still reading & haven't forgotten you my blogging friends. But this is my new goal.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Mini-Me Monday

I've said it once & I'll say it it already Monday again? The weeks are flying by with extreme intensity! I like how Sarah puts it in her blog...the days are long, but the years are short. It's so very true.

Ok, so on to business....I'm sure you've all been waiting with high anticipation for the Mini-Me Monday report...OR you could just be getting sick & tired of hearing of my weight loss journey. I know sometimes I personally am tired of hearing my own thoughts on this matter...anyway....

Last Monday night I mentioned that I was going back to LA Weight Loss and I did...only to step on that scale & see my highest weight ever (expect with my first pregnancy). So, I pushed through the major disappointment in myself & decided to change my attitude, look into reality & begin again! That lasted until Wednesday lunch time when I found myself upset that I was having to sit down & so carefully plan my meal. I threw my own version of a fit to my husband who was home for his lunch break. "I don't want to do this, why do "I" have to be so careful about everything I eat, why do I have to plan, it's just not fair!" After I said those things, I was done and haven't had an adult fit since. What helped to subside those fits was that as of this morning when I went to weigh in, I've lost 7.6 pounds!!!!!!! I'M SO EXCITED!!!!!!! I was thrilled! This plan is working & I feel like I'm eating so healthy. Here's what an average day of eating looks like for me:

4 proteins (about 4oz per protein)
4 vegetables (1 cup per veggie)
3 fruits
5 starches (A lot of whole wheat breads, brown rice, kashi, etc.)
3 dairy (Milk, yogurt, cheese)
3 fats (Avocado - my favorite, olive oil, safflower oil, almonds, etc.)
At least 64oz of water a day.

Here's the thing I love about this program too...I've not exercised at all. Now, don't get me wrong...I know exercise is really good for you, but I'm taking baby steps & definitely want to get to that point too.

So, I felt even more proud of myself this go around because of the fact that I feel my mind set is more towards being healthy & the weight loss is an added bonus. Part of the LA Weight Loss program is that they like you (don't force you) to eat at least 2 of their LA Lites a day. I had been enjoying their chocolate bars until I looked at the ingredients...high fructose corn syrup, sugar, hydrogenated oils...terrible, terrible stuff for your body! Ironic isn't it - that a company that is having me eat so healthy then asks me to eat these bars! So, I've been educating myself...talking with anutritionist friend, listening to Dr. Oz on Oprah...realizing how careful we need to be about ingredients that we put into our bodies. So, I told them that I wouldn't be eating the bars, nor would I be eating any of their other options for LA Lites. They were AWESOME about it & listened to what I had to say without even arguing with me & then really worked on a compromise as to getting compensated for the bulk bars I'd already paid for over a year ago. I appreciated this so much. So, I felt mature...older...wiser....and I was proud. Proud that I stood up for myself & my health which in turn affects my whole family.

On that note, since I don't get the protein in the bars I was eating and am not eating anymore of their LA Lites, I get more food to ensure that I'm getting enough protein, etc. So, here's what the plan looks like now.

4 1/2 proteins
4 veggies
4 fruits
6 starches (hallelujah!)
5 dairy
3 fats

Honestly, some days it appears as if I'm eating all day! In the "dieting community" I feel it's such a myth that we eat less in order to lose weight, when in fact we need to eat more healthy foods. I've heard this analogy, we are a fire. We need more wood (food) put on the fire (us) to keep it keep our metabolism going. As long as it's good, healthy food. So, I'm interested to see if adding more food allows me to still continue losing weight - but nursing sure does help!

So, I'm thankful & I've learned a lot this week. Not just about getting back into the discipline of it all, but about myself & the confidence in knowing that I'm in charge of me - ok, the Lord is in charge of me, but you know what I mean. HOORAY!!!...until next week.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

First Snow...

Today was our first snow here in Colorado (other than the mountains.) I woke up thinking it would just be cold & rainy only to discover that we got about 6 inches of snow. The boys couldn't have been more thrilled and were just dying to get out in it and play. The great thing about Colorado though is that mid to end week we'll be back up in the 70's.

Every first snow I think of how Christ's blood covers us white as snow. It's so beautiful as it comes down from the sky, and there's a certain level of peace that overtakes my heart. As we were driving home from church though, it was messy, cold, sloppy, & we got wet. It might be beautiful as it comes down & lays on our yards, but the maneuvering out in it can be tricky. I thought about how sin in our lives can make things messy, cold, sloppy, & sometimes we get completely wet in it and even though the "snow" so to speak washes away the sin, there are still consequences to what we do, say, & even think - but, I'm so glad for forgiveness that covers me white as snow and even though I still might have to deal with some of the yuck of it, there's a freedom in knowing that that first snow will come again......

PS - I've missed all my blogging friends. I'm sorry it has been since Thursday that I've been able to comment on your has been a crazy couple days!

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Thank you!

My friend Tara awarded me a fun "Change begins at Home"(look for it on my side bar), blogging award today! Is it silly to have this kiddish feeling inside of being so proud?! I love special see, a very high love language for me is gifts...this was a gift to me! Thank you Tara...thank you for being a true and loyal friend.

Tara & I met at MOPS. We were at different tables, but I had heard so many wonderful things about "this girl" at another table that the following year the Lord put it on my heart to ask her to be a table leader and in that I would get to know her better, being that I was in charge of finding table leaders for our MOPS group. It was an immediate connection of friendship & sarcasim & I loved it! Our sense of humor is very similar and we just clicked. Our friendship has continued to blossom over the years and I look forward to the rest of our lives as friends.

I am grateful that I had the opportunity to get to know her & that I can now call her friend. She is a delight & a true gift from the Lord. Thank you Tara....thank you for this award, but mostly thank you for walking through this life with me. Thank you for being a wonderful friend!

So, I pass on an award today...I pass on the "You make me smile" award to my new blogging friend, Sarah Markley. I credit her to getting me started in this "industry" (ha!) and everytime I read her blogs my heart smiles at the amazing gift of writing she has & the amazing heart for her family & the Lord that is evident. You write that book Sarah..& I'll be first in line to meet you!!

Friends...such a gift from Above!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

A dream...

The joys, the aches, the constant-ness, the overwhelming, the never-ending, the love....this is the life of a mama. We clean, cook, do laundry, break up fights, spend time with each child alone, have play dates, go to playgrounds, shuttle kids to school, run errands, grocery shop, provide clothing, give baths, give hugs, clean love. How can a dream become so overwhelmingly saturating of everything you've ever been or do? It encompasses everything that is me. There is sacrifice and nothing for self. It's my way of dying each day for my children, just like Christ died for me - His child. Christ left nothing for Himself, so that we would have everything eternally. So, a dream & a struggle go hand in hand. I've dreamt of this moment since I was a little girl & so my dream comes true. In this dream comes a thankfulness and at the same moment, struggle. In this I learn...

I dare not be anywhere else except for right here...I long for right where I'm at. It's my be a mama and I love it. Never knew self would be sacrificed so and yet all for the love of my child..and I'd do over again in a heartbeat.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Thinks in my head...

September 24th, 2007...a very special day in the lives of the our family. Our oldest son Caleb decided to pray & ask Jesus to come into his heart & be his Savior. I don't think there can be a more special & exciting day for a parent as when their child gives their life to Christ. We really had wanted to make sure that he understood all about it before praying & didn't want to force this upon him as it really is a big decision. You might think that 4 is too young to realize what's happening, but that's the age that I prayed with my mama under the kitchen table & I remember it to this day. I was so excited about our son, I think I could have sung it from the roof-tops! And of course he's pretty excited that he'll now get to go to Heaven & be with Jesus someday.

A couple days ago, Caleb came over to me and said, "Mama, can we hear Jesus in our hearts?" Again, how old are you? We proceeded to have a conversation as to how we hear from the Lord and how He speaks to us. I was sharing with him that sometimes I believe that God puts thoughts in our head that we just know are from Him or He speaks to us through His Word and various other ways. Caleb then says, "So, Jesus puts thinks in our head...I've had thinks in my head." Ahh, talk about melting a mom's heart. The simple ways of a child - so sweetly speak to my own heart.

Am I quiet enough to hear His voice in my own life? Here I have a 4 year old who's wondering how to hear from the Lord & so desires it and I'm a 32 year old who knows how to hear from the Lord & yet I haven't taken a moment to be still & listen. My friend Short Stop said it so well yesterday on her blog..."Come Away with Me." It's something I struggle with all the time...taking a moment to be still & come away with Him. Ultimately it's all that really matters...Him. So, today I take a moment to sit still before an awesome God and listen for those "thinks in my head."

Monday, October 15, 2007

Mini-Me Monday..Fun Version

Four Jobs I Have Had

1) Nanny
2) Promise Keepers
3) Human Resources at Job Store Staffing
4) Mommy

Four Movies I Can Watch Over and Over

1) Anne of Green Gables
2) Anne of Avonlea
3) Pride & Prejudice
4) The Notebook

Four Shows I Watch on T.V

1) "24"
2) Survivor
3) Prison Break
4) The Office...Oh, & Lost!...we watch alot of shows!

Four Places that I Have Vacationed

1) Cancun, Mexico (Girl's vacation!)
2) Hawaii (Honeymoon)
3) Western Carribean Cruise (Went with friends...SO MUCH FUN!)
4) Florida (Disney World) combined with Bahamas (Fun vacation before kids with my hubby)

Four of my Favorite Dishes

1) Hamburgers
2) Lettuce Wraps from PF Changs
3) BBQ Chicken Salad from California Pizza Kitchen
4) Brisket

Four Places I'd Rather Be

1) Some amazing beach resort - one the Stars can afford!
2) An amazing, luxurious spa
3) Living closer to my family
4) Most days though...I'm exactly where I want to be!

Mini-Me Monday

Here's what I know....all the other "mini-me" updates have just been writing about my struggles. Nothing has really changed in my eating or exercise the past few weeks. Like I mentioned in previous blogs, I'm just procrastinating the inevitable change of eating that lies ahead of me.

Today is it...tonight when my husband gets home from work, I will be heading back to LAWL to be re-enrolled & start again. Even bought some vegetables last night at the store because I knew it would be full force tomorrow. So, this is the last day of bad eating habits. I'm not saying that there won't be moments in which I "stumble", but I'm striving towards full renewal in a healthy, eating lifestyle. I'm ready...ok, most of me is ready. There's a lot more cooking & preparing involved in this program. It's not like I can just grab a good salad at McDonalds or something...I have to plan ahead. Here's the odd thing - in planning ahead I find that I'm still thinking about food all the that not a bit ironic? But, I guess since I do think about it all the time, at least I'll be thinking more healthy this time vs. what junk food am I going to have next.

Today I step on that SCALE. Today they pull out the tape measure & measure me up. Today I face the truth...reality.

This is I thank you all for your support & encouragement you've given me thus far. So, what would you have for your last meal before the change of eating begins?

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Copy Cat Again....

So, I loved reading about Bethanne, so I decided to copy her blog too! Two copies in a matter of a few days. I love getting these kinds of emails, so I thought you might like to know more about me! Maybe not...but, here it is anyway...

1. What is your favorite cereal?
Apple Cinnamon Cheerios
2. What is too gross to eat in the morning?
Eggs without bacon
3. What time do you go to bed?
Around 10-10:30pm - although my preferred time is 9-9:30pm. Have become a night owl in my old age!
4. Where do you put your keys?
In my purse or diaper bag..whichever I'm carrying.
5. What vegetables do you love?
Potatoes (ok, not really a veggie!), corn..hmmm.., green beans, carrots/celery with ranch
6. What is the last thing you cleaned?
my kitchen...I feel like I'm cleaning it all the time!
7. Do you measure with a ruler or do you eyeball it?
Usually eyeball except for when I'm cooking
8. What do most people compliment you on?
My hair & makeup and who's tooting their own horn!
9. What is behind you right now?
The sliding glass door that leads to my outside deck.
10. Favorite pastry?
Filled cream longjohns from King Soopers
11. How do you like to waste time?
On the computer or at a bookstore with coffee...anytime with my husband
12. How would you describe your complexion?
Rosie & clear...I'm with you Bethanne...weird question
13. What do you hang onto that you should really get rid of?
Hmmm...I'm not much of a person that holds on to things. I get in these moods & just throw or give away things. I hate clutter! With the exception of purses..I have a hard time parting with them. Although I did recently give away a huge Dell box full of purses...Have you seen those huge Dell computer boxes...ya, alot of purses fit in there & it was full. My Bible Study girls sure loved that box though!
14. What is the last thing that made you hurt?
When my little Benjamin flew down a driveway on a bike at a friend's house & thought it was great fun only to go down the drive way, over the side full speed mind you & then fall face down on the street. Then not seconds later get hit with a toy baseball that his older brother hit with a bat. Thank the Lord, he's perfectly fine & no teeth lost! It hurt my heart....
15. Tea or Coffee?
Coffee...not a tea drinker very often
16. Do you speak your mind? might take a few moments, but usually yes. There are a few people though that I've learned to just keep my mouth shut because it's not worth it.
17. What is your escape?
Date nights with Dan, Time on Wed. nights with my girlfriends, Bible Study, time with the Lord.
18. When is the last time you cried?
This morning at church during worship I teared up.
19. What are your bedtime rituals?
Depends on how tired I am....If I'm getting to bed at a somewhat decent hour, I will take off my makeup, brush my teeth, go to the bathroom, get PJ's on, crawl into bed & fall asleep. If it's late, I do all that same stuff, but skip the washing my face.
20. What troubles you?
At some of the lack of convictions of believers & them willing to take a stand on things. The "whatever works for you" falsehood. What is going to happen after this next presidential election....I'm sure there's alot more. Oh, the fact that so many people don't have a personal relationship with the Lord.
21. Do you like thunderstorms?
Love them.
22. Do you sleep easily or toss and turn?
I think I fall asleep before my head even hits the pillow
23. What do you offer a friend?
Loyalty, Love, a listening ear, speaking the truth & how it is, fun, sarcasm & humor..I sometimes think I'm really funny...not sure about everyone else's take on that!!
24. If you could have a superpower what would it be?
maybe being invisible
25. Which is more attractive - personality or physical appearance?
Personality, but physical appearance definitely has its role
26. Who did you last fight with?
Other than the occasional discussions with my husband, I think it was a friend of mine. All is ok now though!
27. What did you eat last night?
Mexican casserole, re fried beans, rice, & a Papa's birthday party.
28. Who are you mad about?
My husband, my boys, & mostly the Lord

Friday, October 12, 2007

My sweet Jesus...

My sweet Jesus....
My mind is fixed on you this morning, knowing the comfort of your love.
You're the lover of my soul and died so that I might know...
The amazing gift that is You.

You lift me up when I'm down...
You carry me when I can't walk...
Your voice whispers my name when all around me speaks contrary...
You're my sweet Jesus.

The power of your name brings Life...
The touch of your written Word speaks Life...
All that you are IS Life...

You are the Alpha & Omega..the beginning & the end..
You're the Great High Priest, the Almighty God, the Everlasting Father...
You're the Prince of Peace, the Great I AM, the most Holy One...
You're MY sweet Jesus.

How could I not long deeply for you dear Jesus...
How could I not long for a Savior who captures my heart with one, sweet, romance...
How could I not pursue this loving You.

My sweet life, my heart, my soul, my all...for You.
My sweet everything.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Random thoughts & questions....

At the risk of being a copy-cat, I really enjoyed Alana's random thoughts yesterday, so I hope you don't mind my doing the same today!

What's up with Pre-Kindergarten students having homework already? Is that really necessary at this grade level? Am I already becoming a complaining parent...oh dear, that's not good!

I took the boys to the park yesterday & a few ladies were there that were obviously friends & after seeing my 2 boys playing they asked me if I had a girl in my infant car seat, upon which I answered that I had 3 boys! What's up with the sigh & moan after I say that?! Is it a kind comment, a "are you crazy" comment, or a compassionate comment. One of these days I'm going to respond by saying, "Yes, isn't it wonderful!"

Yesterday was a day of real & true joy. I love my life, love my husband, love my children, love my Lord! I love those days...the children for the most part are well dearest & sweetest husband ever brings me home a wonderful surprise gift of a new cell phone I've been wanting. It was a good day!

Has anyone ever see the stand up comic bit by Jerry Seinfeld in which he talks about the drier eating our socks...oh, it's so funny & oddly enough very true! This thought came to me after the upteen-hundreds of loads of laundry I did the past couple days...& yes, I said upteen!

I went to my first MOPS meeting last Friday! It was great & I was so excited to be back. It has kind of been a two-edged sword though really. I've been in a leadership role there for the past 4 years & I have loved it. It has really opened up a whole new realm of my getting to know other women. But, this year I decided to step down & just be an attendee. There has been part of me though that has been missing being involved & yet really enjoyed the refreshing change of just sitting back & enjoying it. As I was sitting nursing my son right in the middle of the meeting I found myself thankful that the Lord had prompted me to step down because it would have just been nuts to have a newborn & lead. It was great though & I really, really enjoyed it!

Does anyone else spend lots of money when their husband is on vacation? My husband is a teacher at a year round school & has big chunks of time off with's wonderful, but we spend lots of money...Yikes!

Reality...I've spent $44.74 at Starbucks or some form of "fun" coffee in the past month. Mind friend Sharalee was here visiting & I bought a few for her..I'm sure at least $20 worth..ok, not. This is NOT good.

I don't want to....

A few weeks ago on a Saturday morning, we decided to load up the family & go to our local outside shopping mall where they have a farmer's market every weekend. I love going there to check out the great produce & kettle corn (ha!), while observing all the people. This particular weekend they were having a 1st annual 5K just around the shopping center. Which in my opinion made it even more fun because there were a lot more people along with free food! What really stuck out to me was the amazing shape these runners looked in & I found myself embarrassed. "Look at the girl who's not in shape!" "Look at the girl who could use a good jog! I'm stuffing my mouth with the free pizza rolls from Old Chicago. And here's the hard as it was & as embarrassed as I felt, it's the truth. The truth does sometimes hurt, but it was a good wake up call for me of what I desire.

I read Sarah's posting on marathon running & our fear connected with it. I'm not sure that I actually have fear in the running aspect (although I do have a serious fear of her other options), but I think the fear for me comes in the "giving up" of myself & what I want, to be disciplined in getting ready for it. You see, not only would it require me to train, but I'd have to lose a lot of weight before even feeling like I could run again and even begin the training process. Although the starting of exercise would facilitate a body that would drop pounds, I just don't want to have to stop doing "what I want to." Maybe in that though is some fear. I'm afraid I'll never be able to eat the food I want to again. That's what I'm afraid of. I'll be sentenced to a life of carrots & broccoli. Even though I feel in my heart that I want to eat healthy & exercise, I don't want to. It's too hard! I'm really not afraid of failure or not being able to do it, I just don't want to....there you go, the ugly, honest truth. But really, what discipline do we really "want" to do..really....especially at first. Once I start the process, then I start enjoying it more but that doesn't mean it still isn't hard.

Here's the thing...once I do start the process of being disciplined in any area of my life, it might stink & be hard for awhile but in that difficulty an amazing thing starts happening...I feel better! I feel better about my life, my health, my walk with the Lord, whatever it might be. So, why is it that we stall in doing what we know we need to do? Pride...I just don't want way is best. And once again I realize that my pride & control get in the way of God wanting to do a work in me.

So, my goal next year is to RUN the local 5K. Maybe someday I'll do a marathon because in my heart I'd love to do it - now if I can just get disciplined. The Lord is forever working in my life & I'm grateful.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Happy Birthday Love...

Happy Birthday sweet man of mine!
34 years of life the Lord has blessed you with & I pray for many, many more.
Your life has touched so many others and I don't know that you even comprehend the depths to which you're loved.
Your life reflects such kindness, integrity, loyalty, compassion, understanding, thoughtfulness, humility, love...just to name a few.
Your life most importantly reflects Christ...

My love, may you know the depth of my love for you...
My love, may my eyes always sparkle with my attraction for you...
My love, may my heart always patter when you walk my way...
My love, may my words always speak to my amazing thankfulness for you...
My love, may my admiration always whisper to you how cherished it is to me that you love the Lord...

Happy Birthday sweet Daniel...I love you!

Monday, October 8, 2007

Mini-Me Monday

Well's not lookin' good. My best friend left & I just continued eating like she was still here. Didn't exercise...nothing! But, I'm hopeful at this....I'm starting back up on my eating program at LA Weight Loss next week. I had amazing success when I did it right before getting pregnant with Levi - despite the terrible 20/20 interview about the program. I still have money invested there, so they are holding my plan for me.

So, speaking of eating....I started my son Levi on cereal today! I can't believe it's already that time. He's almost 4 1/2 months & he's a bigger boy & I'm wondering if he just needs a bit more. Plus, I knew that in order to go work on my weight, I had to not be Levi's sole form of nourishment. LA Weight Loss rules.

Well, Levi didn't really like the cereal...shocker! None of my boys took to it real well at first. Do any babies really? But, last night I pulled up the high chair from our basement storage and a few other "older" toys for Levi & I just can't believe how quickly the time is going. Today I put away a huge tub full of baby clothes that don't fit him anymore and I find that life is passing by without my having time to barely keep up with it. On one hand I'm saddened at my boys growing up & on the other hand I'm so proud of the little boys they are becoming.

So there you have it...some random thoughts today. Nothing deep or exciting, but I've been thinking about how quickly life is passing & I'm still at the weight that I am. It's time for a good kick in the rear! I'm tired of being over-weight and it's my own fault for where I'm at today. BUT, with the Lord's help...I try again-everyday.

Saturday, October 6, 2007

The Ugly Sin Nature

I sat earlier this morning listening to my older son throw a huge fit in his room. I think his behavior would be extremely embarrassing if I was out in public. I think that he should learn self-control & pull himself together. He slams a door...throws a toy...cries. Oh my goodness! (A small disclaimer - this is not the norm.. but every once in awhile he just breaks down - for those of you who have kids, you understand.) Of course we don't tolerate this in our home & it's definitely something we work on - always seeking the Lord for wisdom in this area.

I found myself the other day talking with Caleb about his whining & frustrated that he wouldn't stop. I proceeded to go lean over the kitchen sink in frustration only to hear that still small voice in my head that said, "Are you whining?" You know, those moments when you know it's the Lord sweetly expressing something to your heart? I found myself baffled by the ironic situation I was in. I was training my child about self-control & how to maintain his composure while using "his words" and I in that very next moment turn around & find myself losing it on the internal fit. And thus rises the ugly sin nature.

We've all been there as adults. At our wits end about something or another. I find I personally throw my fits, just in a different form than my children do. They do it loudly because they know no other way to control or express themselves; thus the training involved. I know better, so I hide it...I do it on the inside. I whine & throw my fit knowing that no one will see it, but my Heavenly Father does & so sweetly asks me, "Are you whining?" And I sit back & think...I'm not much different.

When I find myself complaining that I have to pick up after everyone constantly - I thank the Lord that He provided me with a beautiful home. When I've lost count at the times I've picked up cars or trucks in one day - I thank the Lord that He's provided us with money to buy things for our children. When I complain that I'm cleaning the kitchen yet once again & making breakfast, lunch, dinner, & snacks - I thank the Lord that He's given us food on our table for nourishment. When I'm so tired of the never ending loads of laundry - I thank the Lord for the clothes He's provided for us & the fabulous machines to wash them in. When I'm so tired of the never ending of everything - I thank the Lord for the life He's given me & the privileged I have to stay home and make this a loving environment for my family.

When I find myself whining & complaining - I'm thankful that I have a God who sweetly whispers in my ear, "Are you whining?"..."You know I always love you, so come to me anytime." And I find His grace & love saturating my heart yet again. When I find myself dealing with my Caleb, who's having a "moment" - I thank God that He gave me such a precious gift...3 of them to be exact.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Getting tough!

I'm the first born child in my family & with that comes my stronger personality type. It comes with the territory.....yet in that there's also this worry about hurting some-one's feelings or offending. I'm finding though that as I get older I am able to speak my mind a bit more & not worry so much about offending. Of course I do it respectfully & out of kindness, but you know...not letting people run over you. I not only think that age has helped this progression, but the fact that I now have children & being able to speak up for them because they really can't right now. "Mama Bear" rises up every now & again at others not thinking my children are amazing humans & yet my boys definitely have their "work in progress" challenges.

I've decided at this point I believe I have 2 first-born children. Caleb, my oldest has always been a bigger boy. He's very tall for his age & was always in the 90% on all the charts. Benjamin on the other hand has always been smaller. Barely on the charts for weight & just has never been a huge eater....must get that from Dad, because goodness knows I love to eat! :-) But, it amazes me how Benjamin can carry his own with Caleb & at times it's Benjamin who comes out on top. I do though think it's Caleb trying to be obedient to us in not hitting his brother & sometimes it appears that Ben is winning, when in fact Caleb is just obeying. But, at times I stand back & watch as they put their arms around each other & this glimmer of brotherly love appears & I treasure that in my heart.

Then we had far as I can tell (not sure you can tell tons at 4mo.) he's going to be my mellow boy yet resemble Caleb in size. Eats well, sleeps well, gets 2 teeth without my even realizing know, an extremely easy baby. Thank you Lord!! So, in getting back to my beginning opening of "speaking my mind"...yesterday was Levi's 4 month doctor's appointment. And we love our pediatrician, but they have a new nurse there & she's really cold. Caleb asks what she's doing & she says, "It's a vaccination ." Like a 4 1/2 yr old understands that! Come on lady! So, I proceed to explain it to him. We've made a decision to not give our children the Hepatitis B shot until they get older & this nurse proceeded to tell me I couldn't do that in which I proceeded to inform her..."oh yes you can...I have 2 older boys to prove it!" I walked out of there proud of myself. Not that I was rude, because I wasn't but that I spoke my mind & didn't just go with things at the risk of offending. So, I must be getting older...maybe it comes with being in my 30's or maybe it comes with the Mama territory - but what I do know is that I'm ready to take on this world for the sake of loving my boys.

Oh, by the way...I was RIGHT about the shots...ha, ha, were wrong! - Goodness, did I type that out loud?! HA! And Levi weighs 15lbs 12.5oz & is 26in. long!

Wednesday, October 3, 2007


"Expectations kill relationships"

I read this quote on Holy Experience last week & it hit me strong. I have expectations all the time! Every year for my birthday I hope & somewhat expect that maybe I'll have a surprise party and when it doesn't happen I'm disappointed & it can sometimes overshadow all the wonderful things people did for my birthday. How terrible is that! Here people do all these lovely things for me & I come out of it still bummed....I know, this is hard for me to admit & I'm embarrassed at my selfish expectations. I feel I deserve & expect so many things in my life.

I expect & feel I deserve a certain material possession or expect certain things from my husband or the worse of all is expecting & feeling that I deserve things from the Lord. I should expect NOTHING from the Lord...I deserve NOTHING. He gave His life for me & if that's all I ever receive from Him, it's more than I ever deserved in a million lifetimes.

When I have these false expectations of so many things in life, it does kill relationships. I never thought of it that way. How much have false expectations influenced my relationship with others, my husband, my kids...and most importantly - my Lord. Why can't I just stop living a life of having these expectations? Then whatever does happen above & beyond is a wonderful surprise! Just enjoying each & every moment to its fullest. No expectations..just contentment.

Something I've been thinking a lot about....Lord, forgive this selfish woman who can at times be so self absorbed and expect life to be exactly how I think I deserve it to be. My life is not about me, but all about You. I desire expectations to be stripped from my life and instead filled with nothing so that when something does happen then I'll know I've been touched by You in a special way that day. Thank you for Your grace & love that sees this sinful heart and loves me in spite of it all.....

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Are you ready?

Amidst my excitement with my best friend visiting this past weekend, we got some very sad news. My younger brother has been dating a girl for the past year or so. We have really gotten to know her family well & her parents have always been so kind to us & our boys. I received a call from my mom this past Saturday & her dad went on to be with Jesus after passing away in his sleep. It was unexpected as he was only in his mid-40's, worked out everyday, and a much in shape individual. His wife woke up Saturday morning to find his facial color looked odd only to find that he was dead.

It hit me was unexpected....not prepared for....incredibly sorrowful.

Are we ready? Knowing that this could be our last day here on earth. You WILL either go to Heaven or hell. Is your soul ready? The only way to be ready is to accept Christ into your heart as your personal Savior.

Even as tears swell in my eyes at my deep, hearts sorrow...I rejoice, because he was ready & now he's walking down streets of gold with my Lord.

Monday, October 1, 2007

Mini-Me Monday

Ok, honestly...did terrible this past week & weekend! But, I'm back! I missed blogging & reading the blogs that I so faithfully enjoy as I peek into your lives.

Tomorrow morning I take my best friend back to the airport & I'm bummed. I cherish the time together, but it always goes so very fast! We had a fabulous time of shopping, eating, & talking....enjoying every moment of catching up on life. It was truly wonderful. I'll send some pictures later!

Eating wise, well...let's just say JUNK FOOD WEEKEND! It wasn't a pretty sight. But, here I am again - ready to begin anew. Ready, Set, Go!