Wednesday, January 30, 2008

The depth of His love....

So, I took my oldest son, Caleb in to the doctor today for his 5 year check up. We weren't quite prepared for the few shots he had to get...I've never taken a 5 year old to the doctor before. As I sat there holding my son in my lap and holding his hands in mine, my heart ached at the pain the shots caused him. One tears. Second shot....the crying begins. Third shot....the crying level raises a notch. (He had to get 3 shots because we've opted to not give him one of the vaccines, so they have to separate them.)

I'm his Mama.....I don't desire ever for my children to be in pain. I was a voluntary participant in the process of his shots. Holding his hands in mine so he wouldn't resist. What I found next was my trying to lovingly hold & comfort him while sharing with him that the pain really is for the best. That we opt to have these shots so that he doesn't get real sick due to other factors...we are trying to prevent & unfortunately that involves a moment of pain.

The Lord allows pain in our life...sometimes it's just a moment of it in order for our own protection later on down the road. He lovingly holds and comforts us knowing full well that it's all for our own good. The pain isn't pleasant nor fun, yet it refines & molds us into who the Lord wants us to be...knowing that at the end of this journey we will be more like Christ.

Can you imagine Mary, the mother of Jesus and what her heart went through to watch her Son die for us....Can you imagine God the Father watching & giving His Son's life for us? The greatest sacrifice ever. The pain Jesus went through for us was life giving. It was excruciating for Christ and yet He was willing to go through the "brief" pain for us...knowing that He would be giving us a path to eternal life.

It's not fun to watch your children have pain, but it's sometimes necessary because I love them so very dearly. God loved His Son so dearly that He gave him up for us. Can you imagine that depth of love.....and it's for you.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

The Power of a Mama's words....

Submitting to joy is a mindset.......

I woke up a morning last week & the day was going downhill real fast & it was only 8am. Frustration had begun to set in & I was ready to quit. I decided to not let myself go down the path of moaning & frustration and said out loud, "Kids, this is going to be a great day! I choose joy and our day is going to be filled with the peace of the's going to be great." I felt an immediate burden lifted and a change of attitude for myself. Little did I realize the power of my words and how closely my children were listening to me. A few moments later I told my oldest son that he couldn't have something he had asked for. I was waiting...waiting for the whining while saying, "why not Mama"....or just plain whining. It began to come out of his mouth & in an instant instead out of his mouth came the words, "Yes, Mama." I immediately praised him for his great response and non-whining attitude. The following statement he made hit me hard & showed me the power of words.....

"That's right Mama...I didn't whine because today is going to be a great day with joy."

The power of a Mama's words - it changed my child's attitude as well. We set the tone...we determine our attitude....Our kids are listening. They watch, they observe, they understand.....I guess I didn't always realize the power my own change of attitude and words can have in setting the tone for my children....It's more powerful than we realize. So, I step back in my child's misbehaving and ask, Could the actual problem be at times, me? My own words, my own attitude...and my kids follow....Convicting.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008


"For whoever finds me finds life. And obtains favor from the Lord." Proverbs 8:35

These are not just the sayings of a "good man." They are not just someone's random thoughts as I so often post myself.

These Words are living and active...sharper than a 2 edged sword. These Words are straight from the mouth of the Creator of the Universe, the Alpha & Omega, the Great I AM.

The Word is God is Him speaking to us directly. It will be where we find all the wisdom & guidance we will ever need for this life. It's our spiritual food...without it we WILL die spiritually. If you ignore it, you WILL die spiritually......

I love this verse. I have found life & that eternally through the Lord Jesus Christ. Not of works, but completely by His grace...a free gift. And because I found life in Christ, I have found favor with the Creator of the Universe, the Alpha & Omega, the Great I AM, the Healer, the Provider, the Eternal Rock of Salvation, My Master...My Savior...My King of Kings. HE FAVORS ME! Think about that for a moment....everyone is this world & if you've given your life to Him, He favors you!

We are loved so very greatly by the King of Kings. I'm so glad I found life in Christ almost 27 years ago. Life without Him is with Him is eternal.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Cherishing the moment...

I was popping corn in a popcorn popper for my boys for lunch today & here's what my Benjamin said when it started popping.....

"Look Mama, it's like a party inside!"

That's cherishing the moment......

Monday, January 21, 2008

6:30 AM & Food Menu

It's 6:30 am and all is quiet in my home, except for the sounds of my Levi crying. He's hungry and ready to start the day...but I'm not. I drag myself out of bed and sit in the quiet as I nurse my little love. I'm so tired....but I remember that God is my strength and the Holy Spirit helps me in my weaknesses & I'm kind of weak from being tired right now....just a season in my life.

Levi is almost 8 months old and the time nursing him is very much cherished to me. It has gone fast, every moment has gone fast. To think that probably in a very short few months I will be completely done nursing. A little sad for me, but also a little more freeing for me....another step towards his independence.

So I sit in the quiet with him as he sits here in his highchair eating cheerios, and babbling away. It's a sweet time for him & that will pass quickly. So, I cherish the moment. Forgetting that I'm tired and loving the little boy.

Now, to completely change the subject... Bethanne at Waiting for the Shout! asked me what a daily meal plan looks like for me. She also asked for a before & after picture, but I'm going to wait a little bit longer for when I've lost more & you can really tell the difference!

** Before I eat I do take some vitamins & then drink lemon water - water that's at room temperature. Drinking lemon water before eating in the morning really helps clear anything else out in your system that maybe didn't all digest from the day before!

Breakfast: Grapefruit or Orange....some mornings I scramble an egg & have a couple slices of turkey bacon. Some mornings I might do a fruit, a few raw almonds, and string cheese.

Snack: Usually, plain nonfat yogurt with a little bit of grape jelly in it & some Kashi cereal.

Lunch: My favorite lunch I have a lot is a salad. We know that Iceberg lettuce has no nutritional value, so I get really green, leafy lettuce. I often will cook a chicken breast & cut that up on it or some deli turkey (natural), or cook some more turkey bacon. Then I chop some walnuts, slice apples, & top with Parmesan cheese & balsamic vinaigrette dressing. If I don't want to do all that I will have a veggie burger topped with avocado and a small salad or sweet potato fries I make myself. By the way ladies, did you know that yams have a natural form of estrogen that helps women with some of our "womanly" issues we have??? Just a little tip!

Snack: Fruit or string cheese. Sometimes I have a coffee

Dinner: Dinner really varies, but something we have often is fajitas in which I eat without the tortilla. Or I'll just cook some chicken, fix some red, yellow, or orange peppers with onion, open a can of black beans, add a little salsa & tiny bit of sour cream...Yummy! Sometimes I add a fruit.

Later I might have a coffee if I didn't have one earlier.

So, that's what a typical day looks like. I eat low glycemic foods...lower in sugar. Like when I eat a banana, I eat one that is more green because the more ripe it becomes the higher glycemic level & has more sugar. I stay away from all "white" foods...meaning no breads (until later & only a real high fiber bread), potatoes, rice, crackers, chips (which a lot have bad stuff in them anyway, except I do eat some corn chips), most cereal, etc. Also, I'm really reading labels. Check out the labels in your home...partially hydrogenated oils, high fructose corn syrup, red, yellow, blue coloring, aspartame...all of these things so VERY bad for you! Ok, I'll stop preaching! :-) ALSO...this is HUGE for me...exercise!! I do interval training on my treadmill 3-4 times a week & weight training 2 times.

Thank you for allowing me to share! Have a great day blogging friends!!

Sunday, January 20, 2008

The Candy Machine....

It's everyone's downfall. You see walk towards it....with every step closer the battle begins, mainly in your head. There you see it, with glowing colors around it as you see the heavenly lights from above shining its' rays upon it. Your mouth is salivating....your stomach is saying yes, your brain is saying no, and there's everything within your power to not reach your hand in your purse or pocket to grab the money to purchase it....that's right...It's a candy machine.

There awaits your favorite candy - sitting there calling your name. And again, the battle begins. Should I, shouldn't I....I know I shouldn't, but I really want it. Is my will power going to win out or am I too weak. So often, I personally am too weak...are you?

We all have those "candy machines" in our lives. Those things that cause a battle in our mind. It's so intense that there's only one thing that help us through it & that's the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 8:26 says, "Likewise the Spirit also helps us in our weaknesses."

Food causes that intense battle in my mind. And not only food, but choosing junk food over healthy. It's not like I'm standing in the store with the intense battle to stay away from the produce & then once I'm too weak to stand & am draw to that section I say, "Should I have an orange, shouldn't I have an orange." It's the "bad" food...the junk.

What junk is drawing us away from Christ? We think we want it & then we're sick not only physically but also mentally feeling a sense of failure. This world has a powerful draw. It's not a draw from's a draw into sin. We think we can stand against it but, it continually pulls us in & we try & battle it. Sometimes we're strong & sometimes we're not. Praise the Lord for His forgiveness & grace.

The Holy Spirit resides in me because I've given my life to the Creator of the Universe...the Lord Jesus Christ. When I accepted Christ into my heart the Holy Spirit filled me and His power resides in me. I am NOT God, but He's given me the power only through His strength to fight against these "candy machines" in my life. The Holy Spirit is my helper...He helps me during the storm, He helps me understand the deep things of the Word, He convicts me of sin in my life, He helps me in my weaknesses, and He gives me power to resist the things of this world.

The will rage on every day. The only way we can escape it is in Christ....sometimes we must face it & only the power of the Holy Spirit can help us. The joy comes on the other side when we put our money back in our purse, pass the candy machine and find victory in Christ. Being strong in the power of His might....All glory be to my Savior!!

Friday, January 18, 2008

Seeing less of me....

I haven't written about my weight loss journey for awhile now. For those of you who are new visitors to my blog, yes...I struggle with the obsession of food & with that brings this ironic thing to my body...FAT! Ha!

When I first met & married my husband, I was 70 pounds lighter. Yes...70. I can't believe I just admitted that to you all! How embarrassing! He has loved me through every pound I've gained & lost...whether it be from just over indulging in food or because of being pregnant 3 times & over indulging in food. He's been my biggest supporter & truly my dearest & best friend.

A wonderful friend of mine has been helping me with a new program. It's what I call a burden lifted, guilt free, eating healthy lifestyle. No counting points, making sure I have enough of certain foods everyday...just eating healthy & reading labels. My husband has joined me & together he & I are learning one step at a time and becoming "less" each & every day.

At this current point in time, I've lost about 35lbs! I have to say that it was the first Christmas that I've lost 5 pounds! I've dropped 4 sizes, lost at least 15 inches, and find my workouts kicking my rear end...big time!! Most importantly, I am learning...I'm learning the freedom there is in eating healthy & just being educated about what I'm putting in my body. And in the midst of all this, I've bonded so very deeply with my friend who's given me hope. An unexpected treasure she is.....

So, the end of this month I start a new journey that has always been in my heart & that is to share this Hope with other women as I was asked to co-chair a new class they are starting for a group of women at my Mops group. I'm SO excited to just simply share my struggle and this journey that the Lord has brought me through.

So, there you have occasional update!

Thursday, January 17, 2008

And the WINNER is......

You made lovely comments about what the Lord was teaching you! Thank you to each of you for sharing your hearts with me. I'm just amazed at the things the Lord is teaching you and find it so interesting that we all share in the same struggles and challenges from the Lord!!

I cut each sheet of paper evenly, wrote each of your names on them, placed them in a lovely plastic, red cup, and my husband drew the name..........

SITTINTALL.....from the blog.....ROSE IN THE MAKING!!

Congratulations to you!! If you could please give me your name and address at, I'll get that shipped to you!!

I wish I could give each of you something special for you have all been a wonderful encouragement, support, and friend to me. I look forward to reading your words everyday. May the Lord bless you with His sweet presence and saturate your life with His Word!


She's a sweet gift from the Lord. It might not be seen that way at times. It's often seen as a struggle, a constant battle, a disappointment. She's 5 years younger than me & she's my sister. She wasn't expected to live....she was called a miracle baby.

Often through our lives we wonder why God allows what He does. I know He could heal her, but He chooses not to. Maybe He's healed her in ways "that are not our ways." I admire my parents...the unconditional love, the patience, the putting aside of self, and the hope...the Hope they have in Christ as to the existence of her in our lives. We might not ever understand and that's ok. We have learned by leaps and bounds because of this sweet girl in our lives and we continue with hearts adored towards the Lord to say, God is good...all the time.

I miss what it would have been like to have a "normal" sister. I miss what it would have been like to have her standing beside me in my wedding. I miss the shopping trips to the mall together. I miss the bond that could have been there. But you know, I love dearly the sister that God gave me. I love the tender, sweet heart she has for the Lord....seeing at times that she should be an example to us all. She knows no different, so to her this is normal. I love the way she loves my family...the way she'll stroke my little son's head.

I am thankful for my sister....I am thankful for my Jill. She's a treasure, a drop of something unexpected that has required this heart to turn upward....for I truly know that in Him she finds great delight and in my heart, is great delight for her as well. I love you my sweet sister Jill....

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

It's a GIVE AWAY!!

Hello blogging friends!!

It's time for my 100th post give away! I have so enjoyed writing these past 100 posts and would love to share something else I love with you all & that would be jewelry! My dear & best friend Sharalee is a designer of jewelry & she has so graciously allowed me to give you a piece of her jewelry, but the deal is you have to check out her website! Click on this following link to see it all!! It's called "Designs by Sharalee." I have many of her designs and wear them all the time. She's very gifted and talented!!

If you would like to be entered in the drawing, please just write a comment and in a couple days I will announce the winner and ask for your full name/address in order to ship it directly to you. In your comment I would love to know what is the biggest thing the Lord taught you this last year! That's right, you have to work for this prize!!

Comment away & I'll return in a few days for the WINNER!!

Monday, January 14, 2008


My mind drifts back to the beginning...the beginning of you, sweet boy. From the moment I saw you, you were my little love. I cradled you in my arms, with tears streaming down my face at the unimaginable bliss of welcoming you into our lives. You see sweet Caleb, you were a gift to your Mama & are a gift from Above.

I've watched as your life has unfolded....from kicks in my belly, to infant snuggled in my arms, to toddler stumbling around the floor, to little boy trying to pronounce your words, to now big boy becoming independent of me more & more.

You strive for knowledge and more of God and in Him I know you find great delight. Your smile lights up a room...your laugh is contagious....your sweet face I admire as I see in you your dad. For from him is where you see the example of a kind heart..full of integrity & I find you have the same.

You're loving and kind, bossy and oldest, sweet and caressing...and you're mine. I'm so proud of you my dear, sweet boy. You bring your mama's heart complete delight and I look forward to watching you grow into the man that God has for you to be.

My prayer for you today as this is your 5th birthday....that your heart may passionately and fervently seek the Lord all the days of your life. That you will melt hearts due to your compassion and that you grow into a man that longs for nothing but His desires. I love you so deeply my little love....Happy Birthday!

***This 100th post is dedicated to my sweet Caleb who turns 5 today. I'm blown away that it has already been 5 years since I started this journey of being a mama. In honor of my 100th blog, in the next couple days I will be having a GIVE AWAY!! I'm working on the final touches & getting a picture to put on as to what you will win! Keep watching!!****

Friday, January 11, 2008

Character transforming....

"Character transformation, though dependent on grace, and God's empowerment, require a lot of hard work, vigilant oversight, rigorous thought, self-discipline, and a life marked by repentance. It also entails surrendering to a God who is more concerned with our character than with our comfort. Don't make a hassle-free life your primary pursuit; instead, listen to God to discern how he is using these interruptions to cleanse your soul and purify your attitudes."

This is a nugget of gold that was shared with me by my mom. (Thank you Mama!) This statement couldn't be talking more directly to me if I happen to be the only one in the room!!

I've needed a character transformation. I've had a flaw in mine...lack of contentment, joy, & rest in Christ. How did this happen? I look back over my life & see that I have gone through these cycles of finding my joy in circumstances & frustrated with how to change that & now...I need a character transformation. This flaw doesn't come from the Lord...He's not a God of discontentment...He's not a God of lack-ness of joy.

I've been looking for the easy way out. I've been setting up my life to be surrounded by busyness, activities, and stuff...that's what I've based my contentment & joy on. I've missed needing to allow the Lord to transform my character rather than thinking He's concerned with my comfort. I've tried to make sure everything is hassle proof and life is easy, but what sweet moments of purification have I missed? I've just missed Him.

If life was easy and hassle free, why would I really need the Lord. It's not like I desire struggle, but I find I learn more in the Lord through those times.

So, I'm flawed and needing a character transformation....I'm grateful for His love, His love that is deep enough for me to shine a light in a dark corner of my heart....His love that cradles me in His arms and draws me near to Him despite my flaws.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008


There has been a lack of contentment, joy, excitement in my heart the past week and God is working in me. I go through these cycles every once in awhile & I must not be learning it each time so God sweetly strips everything so I come back to Him...wanting fully my heart.

My husband is a school teacher so he had a fabulous 2 weeks off with us and this week it's back to what I normally know everyday. He is the most amazing husband ever and more help to me than I can express. He gives me a little vacation when he's home helping me. But then, in a drastic sense of shock, he leaves me and goes back to work!! I enjoy getting back into routine, but I quickly forget how to handle things by myself & it takes a few days.

I found this lack of peace...lack of contentment that creeps its ugly head back up as my husband returned to work. I love my life, love my husband, love my's my dream. My mom so sweetly reminded me that when I'm having these feelings that the Lord is trying to teach me something. So, what is it....does it go beyond trying to find contentment in Him and my ultimate joy in Him? I think this time, yes.

I've slacked in my time with the Lord...time in the Word & prayer & I see the Lord stripping me of all of the temporal that brings me "so called" joy and bringing me back to Himself. As I felt His voice whispering to me of Him wanting to spend time with me it was confirmed in the sermon my pastor spoke this past Sunday. He was speaking of Martha & Mary and that there is a need for a balance in our lives because you do need both, BUT NOTHING WILL SATISFY LIKE SITTING AT THE FEET OF JESUS. You see, I'd been seeking my joy in my husband being off work, Christmas, time of having help at home, lots of fun with the kids, dates with my hubby, and the list goes on. So, when it all came to a drastic halt & my "so called" joy was gone, I felt overwhelmed, empty, ready to give up. What I realized during all of this so called joy is that I had forgotten the true joy giver...I'd neglected Him and forgotten to heed His voice & sweet presence in my heart. I talked with my kids about Jesus' birthday and how important it was, but had forgotten to remember it in my own heart.

So, I desire and obsess with sitting at the feet of Jesus because in that comes eternal satisfaction.

Saturday, January 5, 2008

Swaying in the Wind....

I gaze outside to see the beauty of His creation this morning. I look up to see the trees swaying in the wind as another cold front begins to move on in. Not only do I feel the peaceful morning, but I see it. Not a person out and the sounds of hush resonate with me. It's quiet, motionless, and still.

Does peace, stillness, and hush resonate in my I content in His presence and nothing else? A friend wrote to me in her Christmas card, "May the Lord drench you with contentment and joy....I know the peace is there, but can I feel it....or must I choose to feel feel the joy...feel the stillness...feel His presence. I know He's with me - without a doubt.

January - a still, quiet, and non-eventful month.....An opportunity for me to KNOW and FEEL His sweet presence even more. So as the trees sway in the wind this morning with the cold and ever so slight breeze, I relax in His wind and let Him take my heart where He please.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

A new reader....

My mama joined the internet world yesterday. After years of protecting her home from the evils of what we all know is there in the internet world, she desired to read my blog and keep in touch with those that communicate on email (that would be me!). She was excited in realizing that she would get more experience in working a computer as well as a confidence in doing so. She realizes the dangers of the internet world, but sees the protection that can also occur and is taking those precautions.

She so often has gotten teased or given the look of "step into the computer age." She knew it would probably be good for her to learn, but she had no desire until recently. As I watched my husband teach her what to do and where to go I was struck by a humbleness of sorts. Here is a heart who only desires the things of the Lord and in her efforts to protect her home flowed forth a depth of purity. Now, there's nothing wrong with the computer per say and I personally find it wonderful, but we all know the dangers and the evil that takes place here, but she choose to detour from its path. What I saw in my mom as she so unknowingly tried her best to learn everything was a pure heart. She hasn't cared what others thought, what they might have said to her...her mind was fixed on Him and what He put on her heart for the time being. It was precious for me to watch. I feel like in this day and age that I need to keep up with technology & all that is occurring in this world, but I have to tell you...I would much rather have the heart I see in her any day over keeping up with this day and age. You see, her heart is simple, pure, and in this area child like...and isn't that what the Lord encourages us to be like? May my heart take example from her. It's not the keeping up that's the seeking Him that truly covers all.

Oh, and by the way're doing a great job and I'm proud of you! Love you.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Lessons Learned....

My husband has been home with us for almost 2 weeks and it has been absolutely delightful. My in-laws were again gracious enough to try again in watching our older two boys since my middle son had been sick the prior attempt. Therefore, my husband and I finally were able to spend a couple days just together and it was wonderful!

What I found though was this...not everything is as it is in my imagined expectations. I was anxious to have a break from my motherly tasks in caring for my two older boys and yet here after only 4 hours apart from them, I missed them terribly! Then, I'd been waiting to purchase this wonderful new purse & daytimer (remember, my obsessions) and my husband and I went on our date last night to the mall to purchase them! The expectations and time waiting were causing me to be so excited....I bought them & realized, the excitement in my mind was more than the actual purchasing of them. Don't get me wrong here, I'm enjoying them tremendously but the desiring them was more fun than the actual well as the thought of my having a break from my boys was something I was looking forward to and then it comes & I just miss them. Time with my husband is so very important, but my heart is empty without my children around...even if they are fighting. The time with my husband though was very cherished.

I learned this week from the Lord.... showing me that when we finally get "what we think" we want, it doesn't lead to the joy and happiness that we thought it would....but that emptiness is still there. The material possessions don't lead to joy....the time away from the boys is nice, but there's nothing like having them with me, close to my heart. And this leads me all back to the lesson I learned earlier this week of dying to self. It's not in the actual "getting" that leads to joy, but for some reason in the sacrifice of the dying to self and only filling our hearts with the Lord will we be completely filled. We can search and search for "other" things in our lives, but all that will truly bring us contentment is Him.