Big Ants

We continue to be working on our backyard to get it in shape. Yard work isn't my favorite thing to do, but I enjoy doing it alongside my husband and getting some sun! Pulling weeds, digging out tree stumps, raking, hauling in dirt, planting grass....it's a big project!

If you're like me, you brace yourself for all the tiny bugs you'll see as you're moving wood or other things that little creatures like to live under. As I was moving a big log I went in with gloves on and was ready to brace myself and boy was I glad that I did! As I removed the log, there were hundreds of these big ants and the baby larva (I guess that's what ant babies are called). So, I went looking for the killer...ant killer that is! I sprayed and sprayed. As I watched these ants scramble all around trying to survive (sorry ants) I watched as they all gathered in one spot. That one spot was gathering all over the baby larva that hadn't yet hatched - for as these ants were all scattered everywhere at first, they all gathered to protect their little ones. I sat there in fasination as I watched them. These ants were dying, yet their first thought was to protect their young.

As a Mama, I can relate. I would do anything to protect my children. But let's look at this on an even bigger scale, for as I was watching them I felt the Lord bring to my mind a reminder of what He did for me. Jesus died on the cross for me....covering my life with His blood so that I could live eternally with Him. As I watched His creation I realized that they were doing exactly what Jesus did for us...for as He was dying He saved us...He saved me.

So although I'm glad that I was able to kill the ants, I was reminded of all that Jesus has done for me. Covering me with His blood and saving my life......

Loudness or Quiet...

It's late and I don't stay up late. I spent the day at the Zoo with my son and his Kindergarten class and I'm finding myself exhausted yet here I am up late. I need to rest...to prepare my body for tomorrow's activities. I know I will regret it in the morning when I can barely find the strength to open my eyes and yet here I sit....in the quiet.

There's something peaceful to me about the quiet, yet I can't imagine life without the loudness of little voices. For it's in the quiet that I take a moment to truly treasure the gifts the Lord has given me in my little family. But, it's also in the chaos that I find a certain level of treasure that only 3 loud boys can give. In the quiet I don't see them....I don't hear them....You could almost not know if they were here. In the loudness I see them...I hear them...and I definitely know they are here. So wouldn't I rather have the loudness? Absolutely.... because even though I sometimes wonder through my exhaustion or schedule of the day how I might plow through (thank goodness for coffee!) I find that the loudness is my joy because it comes from my little men. It's not about finding the strength to make it through the day or plowing through, it's about knowing the strength is already there through Him and that life's journey's with this amazing husband and children might be loud and chaotic but it's mine and a gift from the Lord.

Learn to listen to His sweet, loving voice even amidst our loudness. For even in the midst of our personal chaotic lives, He's there asking us to just take a moment to look up and remember that we are His joy and He is ours. So even though there's a certain level of comfort in the loudness of my boys, there's a sweetness in the quiet that as I sit here undoubtedly exhausted, I know that He speaks regardless and there's joy in the both.....The question is, "Am I listening?"

Life....

Life is truly a miracle! This past weekend we were blessed with a new, precious nephew...our first! Our boys couldn't be more thrilled to now have a boy cousin, seeing as they love their girl cousin so much! I'm amazed at how delicate life is and how you can see such extremes at once. For as we were thrilled at the birth of our new nephew, my heart was also burdened at the hardship that my Grandma is facing in her fight with cancer. She has now done 2 rounds of radiation and 1 of chemo and this past radiation treatment has been extremely rough. As I've seen life at such different ends this week I'm reminded of God's faithfulness. Life is a gift from the Lord and completely in His hands. I'm so thankful for modern medication and equipment that is able to help deliver life and help heal life. But again, ultimately we are in His hands and again...there's no place I'd rather be.

No plans....

My husband thinks I should write a book someday.

I was shocked to realize that it had been almost 2 years since my recent blog posting. At the time I mostly was very busy with smaller children and journeying through some things in my own life, thus the reason I stopped. But there was also part of me that would come to my laptop and would sit in front of this screen and not really know what to write. Spiritual or funny.....long or short.....day's activities or a story...

When my family mentions my writing a book I wonder what it would be about. I don't think it would be fiction. I would probably just enjoy writing about my life and its' journey - the things the Lord taught me and the things I'm still learning. Then I think that's what this blog is all about too! I sometimes find that I don't know what to write until I sit down and start writing. As I'm typing I realize through an incident that occurred or something that happened during the day that the Lord taught me a valuable lesson that I hadn't paid attention to.

Sometimes I think I need a "plan"....a story per say or a organized list in my mind of what I should write about before venturing into it. And then again I realize another valuable lesson that when we surrender our "plan" over to the Lord He can do amazing things and lead the way and I lose control which is exactly where I need to be.

Addictions

Yes...my name is Earen and I'm addicted to coffee. Some days (I know this is terrible) but I find myself drinking more coffee than water! Yikes! I get a little half n' half and pour my coffee with my Stevia and then top with a little bit of whip cream and it's just a little delight! I wish I was that way with carrots or salad, but alas I'm not. In a couple areas of my life I can honestly admit that I'm addicted....coffee, makeup. Those are my weaknesses.

As I walk this life I'm not sure I've ever found myself saying, "I'm just so addicted to the Lord." Have you? Like coffee, "I just can't get enough of Him!" Oh my friends...that's how it should be and as I write this to you a new wave of conviction has swept over me. I want to continually drink Him in over and over during the day. I want to obsess about the Lord and become more addicted to knowing Him. This addiction would be a wonderful thing though......not a weakness but a strength because if I've said it once, I'll say it again.....it's all about Him! Become addicted!

Struggles and Journeys

Do you ever find yourself in areas of life that you have seemed to have visited before? "Wait, didn't I already go through this before?...Why am I here again?"

There are many struggles and journeys in this life. Each of them filled with molding and refining from the Lord and we make a very important choice in deciding whether to gleam their insights or ignore the valuable lesson. Many times I've thought I've gathered the lesson and then find myself re-visiting again and I think, "Did I not get it the first time? Did I miss something?" I wonder if it's not about having missed something, but re-gaining a new insight from Him that could only be learned through a journey that already had some of the "weeds" removed before. The path is clearer this time for God to reveal different things to us.

I look at current struggles that have always seemed to be current and yet what I see consistent is the closeness that occurs in my relationship with Him. And so would I choose to visit this area again and struggle again for the simple yet deeply profound fact of growing closer to Him all over again....I would have to say yes and that is what it's all about...just Him.