The results are in on my Love Language poll and Receiving Gifts won, just barely. Followed by a tie in Words of Affirmation and Quality Time, Acts of Service, & then Physical Touch.
Now, I know we can honestly say that we enjoy each of these languages, but there's always one that will "fill your love tank." Receiving Gifts and Quality Time are almost neck & neck with me. When we got married, the Love Language book was given to us & we actually read it on our honeymoon. I was fascinated by it & figured mine out pretty quickly.
What I've learned over the years is that we tend to give love the way that we would like it shown to us and honestly that doesn't always work. My husband's language is Words of Affirmation and so when I give him a gift, he enjoys it but it doesn't mean as much to him as my building him up with words. Trying to meet his needs, I decided early on in marriage to write down my love words for him in a card in order to build him up & so there was my combination of gifts & words. The thing I learned here was that he loved the words but the card was just nice. I think it's kind of a guy thing that sometimes they think cards are a waste of money....I know not every guy feels this way though. So again, another learning curve as I finally figured out he likes a face to face, my words directly flowing from my mouth to his ears. On the flip side, my husband has had to learn what meets my needs and realize that my 2nd language of quality time didn't mean sitting together in front of the TV...at first. As time has gone on though & we now have kids it's not until evening that we finally get to enjoy an hour or so together just the two of us before we go to bed. I realize now with 3 small children that I'll take the quality time with my husband however...as long as I'm with him. It's all a learning curve and your love language can change over time as well.
It's interesting as I've tried to figure out all my friends & families love languages and some I'm still trying to figure out. As soon as I want to show someone thanks or love, I tend to go for that gift, but some of my friends would honestly just love some time together. As would I, but my first instinct is that gift.
I challenge you all to really evaluate how to show the friends and family in your lives love. Not based on how you would like it shown to you, but how they would love it shown to them. I am trying to constantly work on it in my marriage and really focus on how my husband would receive love shown to him. Showing someone true love can sometimes be a simple task, but there are times in which it takes some thought on our parts and some time. Take this time to do that...it's important.
Life can get so busy and sometimes we forget to really & truly take the time to show others how deeply we care & love them...the way they'd like to be shown love. Other than the Lord in my life, my friends and family are the dearest to me, so it's definitely worth it.
7 comments:
WONDERFUL post, Earen!!
We too have read the Love Languages book, and it is a very helpful tool in marriage. To know how to love someone in the way that means the most to them...it's such a gift.
Andy and I still struggle with this, though. My love languages are Words of Affirmation and Quality Time. The words of affirmation are a hard thing for him to do, but SO important for me. I often find myself loving him with words of affirmation, and he appreciates the thought, but it doesnt' touch him like it does me. And he keeps trying to figure his out. It used to be Physical Touch (I think this is high on most mens' lists), but he's not sure what his top one is now.
I love this, because it's all about the other person. Learning how to love them the way THEY want, not how you think they should be loved.
That's what I'm learning this week. That SO little is about me. It's all about Him, and others.
Thanks Earen!
I really believe in the whole Love Language thing. My husbands is (of course) physical touch and I am not really that touchy - feely so I am constantly tyring to remind myself to be more affectionate with him. It is hard for me, but necessary for him to know I love him. Thanks for reminding me of this (especially today when I am stressed to the max and not feeling very affectionate).
Thanks Earen! When you put your poll up I went and got my love languages book out. I read it a few years ago at time when I was feeling pretty low in my marriage. It truly is about finding your partners language and meeting them there. It is like Renee said in her post today- you just do! Like Bethanne, I am not a touchy feely person (except with my kids) and my husbands love language is physical touch. It is something I need to work at each day.
My love languages are receiving gifts and acts of service. They are pretty much tied. This is something my husband struggles with as well.
It is true we love like we want to be loved - I am so like you - always wanting to get a gift, give a gift to someone without really thinking about their needs. I really want to get the Love Languages for Kids!
Thanks for the great reminder/lesson today!
Your words just bless me! =)
Love languages and personality types say so much.
I used to be more quality time, but since having kids (and needing more help) acts of service have wedged quality time out a bit.
My husband's love language is touch and so is my oldest son's. I've yet to figure out little Will's. Time will tell perhaps.
Very interesting stuff, isn't it?
I enjoy Gary Chapman's book.
I am not a fan of cards----they are a waste of money. Not sure what to do with it after it's been read.
"Gifts" is definetly NOT my love language. :)
My husband and I are complete opposites. My 1,2,3,4,5 are his 5,4,3,2,1. Funny, eh? Perfect how the Lord put us two together to complement each other.
Thanks for reminding and challenging us to discover our languages again.
This is something I've been working on for awhile. It's amazing how long it took me to figure out my hubbie's love language! And he mine! It helps SO much, though! Thanks!
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