Joining in!

So all my blogging friends have somewhat unofficially invited me to join in on the fun of these 8 fun facts about myself, so I'm going to succumb to the pressure & join in. Plus, I think it's fun!!

1. I'm ashamed to say...I bite my nails. Always have & still do as a 32 year old woman!

2. Like Alana, I too really worry about how people view things I might have expressed or something I've done. I hate hurting people and offending & my mind can go overboard in making sure I clear the air!

3. I hate the seeds inside red, yellow, & orange peppers. They give me what I call the "heebie jeebies"....the creeps...I know, weird. I have to look away while I'm cutting them.

4. I'm almost over-obsessed with purses & makeup. If I made alot of money I think I'd spend almost every bit on that kind of stuff. I think it's why the Lord hasn't given me alot of money!

5. I LOVE getting my hair done & love doing different things with it. Just 2 years ago I had my hair cut in such a way that the back stuck straight out kind of funky & it was very short. The front laid flat. Needless to say, it was the hairstyle I've gotten the most compliments on ever. Now it's long & I'm loving it. Plus, my husband loves that I do all sorts of different things.

6. I used to work at Promise Keepers & loved it!

7. I won a Oratory debate competition in highschool and received a scholarship to college for it. Never went to college, but I still have that certificate! It was a speech I wrote about Prayer in Public Schools....I was pretty passionate about that..just in case you haven't noticed that about me. HA!

8. I was a PK (Principal's Kid) my whole life. Other than kindergarten, my dad was my principal. Funny how I then married a teacher...anyway.. I didn't much like it when I was younger, not due to my dad but because I was told I got special privileges all the time & was made fun of. But, in middle school & highschool I suddenly became more popular (humbleness Earen...) and actually stood up for myself and told people to cut it out...especially when a teacher pulled that "you get special treatment" line on me. I set him straight...of course in a respectful way, but he never said anything again!! I loved middle/highschool!!

There you have it friends! 8 more fun facts about me!!

All about Him....

This past weekend we went and watched my brother play basketball. He plays for a University here where we live and it has been fun to watch him move up from the high school level to college. It has been different for us though. You see, last year Abram played in high school and was one of the main stars if not the star of the team. (I'm not biased or anything though!) Scouts were watching him, organizations that play in the off season really wanted him to come play with him, and he was honored! He even got written up in the newspaper here as Mr. 3A athlete for that week. It was exciting!!

He now has moved to playing college ball and now everything is different. He went from being the "star" of the team to us hoping he might get to play for a few moments and maybe hit a basket. You see, the playing level has changed and now you're playing against and with athletes who are really good. So, basketball for him has changed and our attitudes have changed as well. No matter what, we will always be proud of him and we get so excited when we see him being sent in to play - but it's just different. It might not be this way for all 4 years, but it's how it is now.

Do we ever get to a point in a position where we are a "star" or even to a point in our relationship with the Lord that we feel we have arrived? (My brother never had this attitude though) Where we are so proud of ourselves and think we are all that (again, my brother never showed this attitude) only to be "sat on the bench" and humbled all over again? How quickly for me the feeling of "thinking I'm SO important" can creep in and God must just be shaking His head as if to say, "It's now time to sit for awhile."

As hard as this is, I find this is where God teaches me so much. I'm never "all that." I've never "arrived.".....Deep in our heart and soul we need to desire to be nothing but a humble vessel to be refined and used by Him. You see, as fun as it was for Abram to be the star player for several years and learn in that setting, I see his faith and humbleness growing in ways I've never seen and he's growing into quite a man of integrity. I think often of the fact that when we are nothing & He's everything....that's the spot I want to be in. Nothing left of me so all you see is Him. In this life it's not about us.....Him.

A Thankful Heart...

"Give thanks to the Lord and proclaim His greatness. Let the whole world know what He has done.
Sing to Him; yes, sing His praises. Tell everyone about His miracles.
Exalt in His holy name; O worshipers of the Lord, rejoice!

Search for the Lord and for His strength, and keep on searching.
Think of the wonderful works He has done...."

I Chronicles 16:8-12

May the greatness of who He is bring you immense thankfulness this season.
For all He's done for us, may we be truly thankful.
The provisions He's bestowed upon us, the blessing of family and love.
The delight of little laughs, holding the hand of my love.
The warmth, the health, our home.
The hard times, as they cause us to depend, trust, grow and be refined by Him.
The wonderful times, as they are a gift.

Forever thankful for the Cross....for the hope of an eternal future with Him.
Thankful for the life You gave and the life you've given me.

Happy Thanksgiving my blogging friends!

Silence

I sit in silence while I nurse Levi. You see, he's at that age in which every distraction takes him away from the task at hand. Is it convenient, no. Does it require planning, yes. A little fun room time for the older boys, or they enjoy a video, or are eating a meal. It can get tricky.

It has become my peace time though. I look forward to going into Levi's newly & lovely light blue and sage green painted room where my rocking chair resides and it's a moment for us. For what seems like seconds, but in reality is 20 minutes - I find silence.

Now, you know me by now & you know that often my minds drifts into thoughts of how this might relate to the Lord. Do I need silence and quiet to focus in my time with the Lord - the current task at hand? Levi needs quiet to take in nourishment...do I need that to take in nourishment from the Lord? We moms know that this can be quite a task to behold. A quiet moment??? The thing is, our spiritual nourishment is just as important as the physical..if not more.

Where do I make my silence for my spiritual nourishment...when? I know that as a mom you fit it in where you can with moments here & there...but can I hear the voice of the Lord with distractions?

Levi needs that silence to eat, to focus. It's my special time with my baby, my sweet child. Maybe God wants that from me....that quiet time - to hear His voice. Taking the time to be still and listen. Sometimes that only comes in the silence.

Happy Birthday Carol!!!

You hear the horror stories of how people have in-laws that are just quite different or difficult and I honestly can't relate...you see, I am blessed. Today is my mother in laws birthday and I am honored to be her daughter in law. She did a wonderful and amazing job at raising an incredible man in my husband. I didn't get to watch those days, but I watch her with my children - her grandchildren and I find love there. She will re-arrange whatever she has going on to help with our needs, she is always there when we need her, and she's an encouragement to me as well. She's always supported us 100% without ever a word of disapproval. Simply said, she loves us.

So, on this her special day...I dedicate this blog to her. I am blessed to have a mother in law who loves the Lord....blessed that she loves us so...blessed by her heart. She has a lot on her plate...I mean, a full load. She handles it with such strength of heart and dignity. She never complains...ever. Her life speaks volumes of her integrity and love for others.

Thank you Carol...thank you for all you do for us, for others, for the Lord. Know that it doesn't go unnoticed. Your life is a treasure and I'm blessed to be apart of it. You are loved tremendously by our family and we are thankful for the life the Lord gave you because we have been honored to be given the gift of you.

"I will love You, O Lord, my strength.

The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer;

My God, my strength, in whom I will trust:

My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

I will call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised;

So shall I be saved from my enemies.

Psalm 18:1-3

May the God of all hope & strength give you Himself as you realize that is all your soul longs for. Soak in His love...rest into His care...bask in His arms...trust in His heart. Fill to the brim your life with His Word, knowing that's Life giving breath...all the answers we ever need. May we be forever obsessed with Him..for He is our only salvation..our eternity.

Little voices.....

The voices of my children....I hear them all the time. The sweet sounds of Caleb singing "Father Abraham" or Benjamin trying to get in all the letters of the alphabet in the "ABC" song. The little "talks" Caleb enjoys having with his dad every night in which dad usually just sits and listens. The pulling at my heart strings when Benjamin doesn't want me to leave his room when it's time for bed... "please don't leave mommy." The baby chatter of Levi as he's trying to figure out how to put his fingers into his mouth. The sweetness of him just saying, "ahhh." The love he shows me without even any words. The laughter...the "Mommy, chase me!".... the"Mom, can we have special Caleb Mama time?"

I wonder what the Lord thinks about the voices of His children - me? Do I bring sweetness to His heart? Do I sing praises to His name? There are moments when their voices can bring challenge & I know I do the same for the Lord. And yet there is gentle love always in His voice whispering my name in a way to say, "I love you."

May my voice shout from the rooftops my love for you Lord! May my kindness be evident through a heart that is passionate for You. May my words always show gentle love as I whisper to my boys, "I love you."

The peace and quiet is a refreshing welcome at times, but I wouldn't change hearing the voices of my children for anything. I know the Lord feels the same.

A longing for discipline....

I've heard over & over in parenting classes that children actually long for our discipline because it shows them we care & love them. Isn't it so true...it might be just simply an attention getter on their part or at times I know they are just wanting to check again & see who's really in charge. Afterwards there is a relief & calm that comes over them. Almost as if to say, "thank you mom/dad...I'm so glad you love me." It's a weird thing, but alas one that causes us to grow.

Here's what I discovered this past week...I was longing for that treadmill of mine. Weird as it may sound, it's true. I felt almost as if a burden had been lifted off when I was finished working out...a big stress reliever. It's a discipline for me. Different than a form of punishment but still something that at times can hurt and one I sometimes fight against. I guess for me it can seem as a form of punishment & yet I feel rejuvenated and ready to go afterwards! Whether it be a child needing some correction in the form of discipline or the discipline of working out and eating healthy, I find it's longed for - honestly whether we realize it or not.

Our children desire this discipline because it shows that we love them and care about shaping their hearts for the Lord. So, when I go to discipline myself (so to speak) on that treadmill I do it because I am showing myself that I care and love myself....that I want to care for this temple the Lord has given me....I want to be healthy...I want to be around to watch my kids grow up, to grow more in love with my husband, to grow more in love with my Lord. You see, this discipline in my life can sometimes stink and it hurts and it's hard, but I do it not only to show others that I love them, but because I love myself...not a love of prideful boasting, but a realization that God gave me this body and how am I caring for it?

When I am out of control in my eating and exercising is non-existent, for me there is no discipline. Life then for me is more dull and can affect my energy and my overall outlook can be dimmer. So, I guess there is something to this thing called discipline...I guess it's longed for.

Darkness

The electricity went out Tuesday. From noon until 6am the next morning...darkness. No phone, no email, no blogging, no TV, no videos, no hair dryer, nothing that would require electricity. It was not fun...but I learned a few things about life & myself.

During this outage, my youngest son Levi decided that he didn't want to take a nap but just cry! So, instead of this power outage causing me to dig into a good book or magazine (something I rarely do) since my older boys were resting, I not only was dealing with my little guy, but doing it without any form of other entertainment..such as the television. Finally getting Levi to somewhat calm down I decided to just rest myself by taking a nap...novel idea! Only to wake up not shortly after lying down to the sounds of crying yet again.

Things throughout the day proceeded and nothing...it then became dark. Out came the candles and flashlights. Normally, this might be seen as a fun venture, but after hours of already being off and not wanting to open the refrigerator or freezer to let out the coldness, I found I couldn't fix dinner - I couldn't see things around my house as well as I'd like and I found that it was affecting my mood. I hate darkness...I believe it's one of the reasons I don't care for winter as much...dark in the morning & dark in the night, sooner.

So, we decided to leave the house & go out to entertain our kids elsewhere. It ended up being a fun evening.

I found myself in worry again....worrying about the food going bad....worrying about my kids being warm enough if the heat didn't come back during the night....worrying about what we would do the next day should it still be off...worrying. Then I found myself upset at the electric company. Were they working hard enough to fix it? Telling me many times they'd have it fixed in a hour...18 hours later. If we are around in the last days, I know things will be much harder than they were for me the other day. It was almost a moment of panic as if to say, "What if this is the way it will be?" "Am I prepared?" I am not....I am definitely spiritually prepared, but if things got really hard, which I know they eventually will according to what the Word says, what would I do? Thoughts entered both my husband & my minds as we realized that we are spoiled. We always take advantage of what we have until we don't have it anymore.

A relief hit my heart as I heard the heater come back, and the baby monitors beginning to work at 6am the next day. But, in my heart was also a feeling of wow, the end will be hard...We think life without the Lord is hard now, I can't imagine it without Him then. I'm hoping He might make it easy for us believers & just rapture us before then...we'll see!

Mini-Me Monday

My thinking regarding things really changed this past week & it's a good thing! I've been reading this book called, "Dare to Lose." It's a book my nutritionist friend gave to me to read & I've been fascinated by it. She keeps talking about how our continual dieting can have a major affect on our bodies & metabolism and how much we shouldn't be looking at the scale & having those numbers dictate how we feel about ourselves...She's more concerned about how much fat percentage we are losing because probably in the past when we've lost weight, we've lost muscle mass & that's not a good thing.

So, I'm challenged...my thinking is going to have to change. How can a brain that has been so focused on the scale for so long change? Only through the Lord. She challenged me to look at what I was doing with LAWL and dieting again and I felt from the Lord that I need to do things completely different this time...different from all other times. So, I stopped going to LAWL...that's right, I quit. And let me tell you, there was definitely a release of a burden in having to eat so much! I know that sounds quite odd for someone who likes to eat, but it was becoming quite a burden. I had also gotten frustrated with the disappointment of stepping on their scale 3 times a week only to see that I was hardly accomplishing anything.

So, I'm going directly with my friend who's been helping me & the program called Transitions. I am eating foods that are harder for me to eat, but I'm feeling so much better, not hungry, & the cravings aren't nearly as intense. Now, it's not to say that I don't have hard moments...yesterday I burst into tears on my husband, who by the way is so amazingly supportive! I am learning how to change my thinking of the way I eat....I'm grieving a bit giving up my junk food that I love so much. It's a process....

After not stepping on the scale for awhile, I decided to step on it just to see where I was at & much to my amazement I'm down 16 lbs. Yes, I too was shocked! I'm pleased to see what's happening and even more excited & nervous about the shift in eating that my life is taking.

Captivating

"The culture of women in the church today is crippled by some very pervasive lies. 'To be spiritual is to be busy. To be spiritual is to be disciplined. To be spiritual is to be dutiful.' No, to be spiritual is to be in a Romance with God. The desire to be romanced lies deep in the heart of every woman. It is for such that you were made. And you are romanced, and ever will be."

John & Stasi Eldredge

Love sent down...

Life....it can sometimes take you by surprise.

The compliment from a near stranger....
The gift of help...
The hug from a true friend...
The love of family...
Treasured gifts.

Life never ceases to amaze me..these surprises. Every time I think I have it together - every time I think I've arrived, this desired, humble heart is thrown off her game only to realize I can't do this life alone. Life must be loved ones...life must be journeyed with Him. The question is, do I take the time to see it...capture it...remember it..those surprise moments? For truly they are love sent down from the Creator of this life of mine. Do I cherish them in my heart? Do I breathe it in as new life giving breath.

Lord, help this feeble, broken heart to capture all that is you and see that it's your loving hand caressing me as I enter into the unknown...an unknown that causes me to see surrender as true joy and yet again realize that nothing in this life is more precious than the surprise of You. Thank you...thank you for these moments to capture all that is You through a human form...for You know these surprises are really moments needed in this heart of mine...love sent down.