Letting go....

My sweet Caleb...a true joy to my heart on this journey of mama hood. My first of everything there is with a child. The moment he was born I burst into tears at the immense joy that I felt. This was my dream...he was my dream. His bald head, his tiny feet & hands, his sweet gaze into my eyes, the precious life given to me. Moments turned into days, days into weeks, & weeks into years. The first bites of cereal...the first day he walked....the first time he spoke the word "da-da".....the first time he told me he loved me. The frustrating days of potty training, but the joy when he finally got it. The new found freedom he experienced when put into a toddler bed. The first time he got dressed by himself. The first time he said "no"! His first hair cut. As he got older, his "adult" conversing with us. His questions all the time. His contagious laugh. His sweet look of love. My precious firstborn son.....

All these are now memories - cherished of course, but days have passed and now he's 4 1/2. On September 4th, my son will enter pre-kindergarten and I find myself so happy for the experiences he'll have, but sad in my heart that we are already to this stage in life. How does life pass us by so quickly? It was a last minute decision and one in which we really prayed about, asking for the Lord's peace. In which we had.

It's hard to let go of your children..remembering that I gave them to the Lord even before conception. It's hard not knowing what he'll be doing from moment to moment. It's hard knowing he doesn't need me as much. I know it's the process of life and we all went through it...but, he's my first.

Chuck Swindoll said, " The cautious faith that never saws off a limb on which it's sitting, never learns that unattached limbs find strange unaccountable way of not falling."

My sweet boy....an everyday releasing Him into the hands of the Father. I love my Caleb so....