My little love....

You were a surprise from the moment I found out about you.....I wasn't ready, at least I didn't think I was.  God had different plans and I'm SO GLAD He did.   

For the last year you've been nothing but an absolute delight, my little Levi.   I waited and waited for you and a week after you were suppose to be born you finally decided to grace us with your presence at a whopping 8lbs 9oz....you weren't messing around.   And what I thought to be a big baby turned to be such a blessing...for you ate so well right from the start, slept well immediately and have been such an easy baby.   

I love everything about you little man.  Your little bald head that is now sprouting precious blond curls....Your sweet smile that appeared almost from the moment you came out....your laid back personality and "go with the flow" mentality....Your sweet little lips that call my name and so many other things already....The love you show me when you lay your head on my chest and snuggle....the gift of life you were given, for truly you are a gift to us.   

So, you might have been a surprise to us sweet Levi, but you're one of the best surprises we've ever had and I'd do it all over again.   My heart is so in love with you.   

As you grow up to be an amazing man, may your heart seek the Lord passionately & fervently all the days of your life.  May you have a boldness for Christ unlike any other and may He be all you hope and dream for.   In a world that's full of so many supposed happy things, all that truly matters is Him.   For as much as I love you and am so thankful for the gift of you....He loves you more, for you are His.  

I love you my little love....Happy Birthday!

Your Mama 

Balls in the air....

Awe and wonder....this is what I observed in the eyes of my 2 older boys last night. Dad finally had come home and they were playing baseball and just enjoying some time with Dad. They love that. At one point in time my husband started throwing the ball as high as he could into the air. You should have seen the look of delight in the boys eyes and the wonder on their faces! Those looks were telling me how amazing they thought their Dad was...how cool...how could he do that?! They would laugh and then say, "Do it again Dad..do it again!"

Then in one of my epiphany moments I thought, "Do I have that kind of awe for my Heavenly Father?"

I watch in so many areas as the glow in their eyes tells me all I need to know. They adore their dad. "Can I go outside with you dad?...Can I help you mow the grass?....Can I go to the store with you?....Can we play outside with you?....Do you want to play basketball, Dad?"

It brings me great joy - the relationship they have with their Daddy. I want to have that awe and amazement for my Heavenly Father....I continually want to love & adore Him in a way that only comes in the look of His child...me.

His Favorite!

I admit it...I want to be everyone's favorite.    I want everyone to like me best...to tell me their deepest thoughts & desires, first.   Me.    

Does that sound prideful or what?  But, it's true....at least for me.   I've known this about myself for a long time and I think it stems from feeling like I was no ones favorite when I was little - at least not with friends.    I remember having to work really hard to have any friends and maybe that's it...I tried too hard.

These feelings rooted their ugly head again this past week and I had to ask myself, "Why?"  The Lord has blessed me tremendously with some amazing friends and yet because of the situation I found myself in, I was feeling less desired as a friend.   And you know what, it was a lie straight from the pit of hell itself!   I quickly  (ok, somewhat quickly) worked through it and tried to fight past the false thoughts that had filled my head, but alas they were there.   

Isn't that just like the enemy to sneak into our thoughts, our relationships, our lives and try to ruin them.   From one little false lie I found myself discouraged & unloved...but, it was my own pity party because it wasn't based on the TRUTH!    The TRUTH of His Word and who He says I am!  

So, I'm reminded today of all the amazing friends I have and know that I might be the favorite, I might not be and I'm striving to be grounded in the Truth that all that matters is that I'M HIS FAVORITE!    

Guess what I got???

My friend Alana hosted a flip flop exchange and guess what I got in the mail?

Thank you Lynn from Rohl Call !!

YOU'RE AWESOME LYNN! Not only did she bless with me with some fabulous, cute, pink flip flops, but she even included a beautiful jewelry set! How very sweet and thoughtful of you Lynn! Thank you so much! I loved it all!!

On a side note...you can see that I'm VERY behind on reading & writing these days. Not to worry though...I'm not lost! I will be back soon, but until then...I'm enjoying an extra long weekend with my husband off.

Oh, & Bethanne...I'm so glad your back! I missed you!!

Thank you again Lynn...And thank you Alana for initiating this! How fun!

Detox

This week is not a fun eating week....It's a Detox week. The new eating lifestyle program I began back in the fall was suppose to be started with a 7 day detox, but alas I couldn't do it because I was nursing...much to my relief at the time.

I finished nursing my baby last week so I decided that since I had gotten a little slack on my eating that I would plunge in & detox my body. Clean myself out of the sugar and all the junk. Boy, does it STINK!! ARGG!!

This is only my 2nd day and it's a discipline that I haven't experienced for awhile. Yes, I do feel I've been somewhat disciplined in my eating seeing as I've lost 44lbs, but for the past couple months I've just sat here...exercising, but staying the same because I'm not eating as well. So, I decided it's time to straighten up because I have a good 30 more pounds to go.

And of course as I've been dealing with a dull headache, self control as I've been really missing my coffee, and just a dying to self...I've realized something. Detoxing our bodies of the junk has so many parallels to detoxing our lives and hearts of this world. It's a joy to serve the Lord, but sometimes there are things that just aren't fun and we die to self constantly....it's a discipline. Truly, detoxing our lives of all that is us so that He can be glorified and that our hearts can be purified for Him, just like my body will be purified and rid of the cravings that I know aren't good for me.

What cravings do I need to detox in my spiritual life? What areas am I still serving this world?

So, as I pursue this detox and rid my body of junk and replace it with health, I know that even though it's hard that in the end I'm learning way more of the eternal that I realized...

Believer or Christian

I was watching a clip from American Idol the other day...not sure if it was an old re-run or from the new show, but what I saw really caused me to think.

A young man came in for an audition and Simon Cowell said to him, "I see here that it says you're a believer?" He then proceeded to ask him, "A believer of what?" Of course I knew right away what he meant and I was astounded as I saw this young man lay out Christ & salvation to Simon right before my eyes. And I realized that the term "believer" is really what I prefer when people ask me what my religion is....although I don't like the word "religion" but prefer personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

The main term used today is "I'm a Christian." But this term has become so loosely used by our culture that now people who simply wear crosses around their neck are assumed to be a Christian. Now, I don't want to play judge because only the Lord truly knows one's heart, but WHAT DOES "CHRISTIAN" MEAN TO YOU? Have you realized how many people think they are Christians and yet they are the farthest thing from Christian....just look at the fruit they produce or the lives they live.

Being a Christian means that you're a follower of Christ. Not of this world or anything of it. Being a Christian means that you've prayed and asked Jesus to be your personal Savior and Lord of ALL of your life. Being a Christian means that you follow His path & will for your life and realize that you are His & He is yours. Being a Christian means you've asked the Lord to forgive you of your sins and accept the grace He's given knowing that it's not by our works but by Him alone.

Being a Christian means that you're a believer....Then I hope to get the question, "A believer of what?"

Changing things up??

About a month ago, we felt the prompting of the Lord that it was a time for a change in our family. It's a big change for us and we are really having to trust the Lord for His timing & trusting that "my" plan might not be His plan.

We have decided to sell our home and move about 30minutes further north in our city. The biggest reason for this new adventure is to be closer to our families. What a blessing that will be! Other than the Lord and each other, our families mean everything to us. I've wanted to live closer to family for awhile now, but my husband works 3 minutes from our current home at a local elementary school - one in which he's not leaving & will now have a long commute. Yes, he's awesome! The other big reason is that God has put a desire in my husband and my heart for our children to attend Christian school. Yes, it's expensive and we really will be trusting the Lord to provide the finances. The Christian school by my family is fabulous and the one in which I graduated from and where my dad is currently one of the principals. My boys will have many amazing opportunities there, not to mention a Godly education. Of course the passion for this runs deep in me as I come from a family of passionate Christian educators.

So, this is a big move for us and one in which we are trusting the Lord. We know that it will be God if our home sells, but we completely trust Him to care for us & we know He can do it without any problems. I have my own little plan in my mind, but I need to completely rest in His plan.

I'm excited to move...excited to live closer to my family. But at the same time I desire to be excited for God's plan for us. For God's guidance & direction for us....I just hope it's moving! :-)

You know your mom's favorite when.....

This is SO me...of course I'm the bird getting the food! I've teased my family for years that we all know that I'M THE FAVORITE!! Another insight into my amazing personality! Now, are you all convinced what a big head I sometimes have?!

Being a mama....

I've been one for 5 years now...a mama, that is. Just seems like yesterday that I began this journey in which my life would forever be changed.

The tiny life that formed in my womb...the breath of lungs that was evident as a foot kicked my rib.

The life I held in my arms for the first time and gave nourishment from my very being.

The first walk...first crawl...first word...first tooth...first smile.

The maturing that happened when I looked away for just a little while.

The privilege of leading these little hearts to love the Lord & give their hearts to Him.

The poopy diapers, the sleepless nights of worry, the discipline that you hate but shows truly how much you love them, the sweat, the tears, the happy, the proud, the love....

And as the time passes you realize it's true that every day is worth it. Every sacrifice would be given again. Every hug given millions more. Every spoken word of Truth never in vain. And you understand that these little lives are a gift. A breath taking picture of a little soul in the very image of their Creator.

For I know that one day I will look back and wish for these times again, for life passes by so quickly. But, I'm thankful for the moment because I'm a Mama. And for the joy of these three little men in my life, I'd do every, single moment...all over again.

Happy Mother's Day to you all!

Saturation...

It's raining here today....we don't get rain too often. I love the rain....the way is makes me want to cuddle up on my couch and watch a movie with my family. The way it makes everything green. The way it can cool things down on a hot, summer day. The comfort it seems to bring....

Our big tree in the back yard is done blooming with its gorgeous yellow flowers and has now turned to green leaves. Our trees in our front yard are gradually growing all the green leaves that it can hold. It seems as if overnight they all appear. The rain is helping this all grow.

The ground soaks up the rain as if it has been parched for months....well, because usually it has. It is thankful for the drink it's taking in...the life it's being given.

When was the last time I really soaked in Christ....really. I read the Bible and pray, but when is the last time we really allowed it to soak into our parched hearts? It is giving me life, but am I growing or have I fulfilled my "quota" for the day. I do believe that no matter what, reading the Word is going into our hearts and brings life, but I want this "rain" to go deeply. I want to soak the Word in and it saturate every part of my being.

So, I watch the rain outside and know the peace and comfort it gives me....and I desire Him to saturate every part of my being through His life giving Word. There's so much there we haven't even begun to grasp.............

Pictures....

I think I can vouch for most people in that we all love pictures. And as bloggers, we love to see pictures of things we write about or events that took place. It adds to the description...we now have a visual image. There have been blogs I've read and I don't know what that person looks like. But once they put a picture up of themselves it's like a "ahh" moment for us in that we now share deeper in their writing since we know what they look like.

As I was thinking about pictures and enjoying looking at so many of yours, I thought about the fact that not many of us have truly, physically seen Christ. We've all seen the movie depictions of him or what might be painted in a picture, or possibly what He might have "humanly" looked like back in the day..but none of us really knows what He looks like. We've never seen His picture...I don't think He really has a picture...He just is. If we did see a picture of Him, would it make Him more real to us? In that lies faith.....we don't see the wind, but we know it's there...we feel it. We know Christ is there....

Whether we've seen Christ or not, we should have the same undying passion for Him no matter what. There should always be that "ahh" moment. The picture we see of Christ is truly in His Word. For it's there that we learn who He is, what He's promised us, and the amazing depth of relationship He wants to have with us. It's nothing "we've" done....nothing "we've" earned, but by His grace alone that we are His.

And even though I've never physically seen Him, I know He's with me...for He lives in my heart. I know He's there because I asked Him to enter. And when my faith rises up to believe - whether or not I can see Him and have that proof, I know He can ALWAYS see me...and I ask myself, "What do I look like to Him?.....What does my life reflect?" For it's not about the outward appearance but entirely my heart.

Words...

I love words…I feel a deep satisfaction internally when I’ve orchestrated words just so perfectly to create that special depth that might even cause one to sit back and drink in a breath of fresh air.

I love reading deeper things of the Lord. I sometimes sit back in amazement myself and think, “how did they come up with those words to express that one, perfect thought?”

It’s a gift to have words roll off your tongue in such eloquence. I find that for some, it’s a true anointing given by the Lord Almighty Himself.

But, the word that melted my heart last week was one, simple word I hear so very often. It’s normally a word followed by actions my children need or requests they might have or simply to catch my attention. It’s a word that in my heart creates a satisfaction of knowing that I am needed…that I am loved…that I am blessed with little hearts in my life.

As I walked up the escalator from getting off the airplane last week I found myself excited to see my boys and husband. Waiting for me there was a whole group of strangers and as I glanced around I didn’t see my family…and then it happened. The word I hear so often…the word I often take for granted…the word that reminds that me that I am so blessed….

Two little boys came running towards me....shouting from the depths of their hearts….melting my own heart…with arms stretched out towards me…with passion unlike any other. And the word that I hear everyday took my breath away as these two little hearts touched me deeply with their spoken word….MAMA….

Friday Fun and a new discovery....

My blog friend Kristen tagged me for this fun "3 things" about me, so I thought it's Friday and I'd write something a little more on the fun & light side!! So, here goes!!

3 places I go all the time: Target, Walmart,....hmmm, honestly, we stay home most all the time!

3 people who email me: Sharalee, Katherine, and Angie..among many others..I'm pretty popular! HA! Just kidding...ok, so you just got a glimpse into my personality.

3 favorite places to eat: Cheesecake Factory, Red Robin, & Chilis.

3 places I would rather be right now: Ocean, having fun with my husband, anywhere with my boys and husband..and family.

3 people who will do this: Hmmm...let's see...if you haven't been tagged for this, do it! It's fun!

3 TV shows I could watch over and over: Survivor, Lost & Hmmm....


Ok, so now to my side note discovery. I've realized that us bloggers are kind of our own little world. Am I just slow in discovering this? I love all my friends and family dearly, but unless they read and don't comment, I've discovered that not very many of my friends read my blog...what, you say?! What's up with that?! Of course what I've realized it that only bloggers for the most part read other blogs. I joke around with my friends that sometimes they would see even deeper into my heart if they read my blog...BUT, sometimes I have a hard time keeping up and I know they have alot going on. Friends and family...no hard feelings here and know I'm not bashing you...just writing my observation for the day. I love you all no matter what. If you do read this, we bloggers LOVE our comments! If you don't then I love you all the same....For my loyal readers, know I appreciate it & love reading yours too...sorry I'm a little behind!!

Have a great weekend!!