My husband has been home with us for almost 2 weeks and it has been absolutely delightful. My in-laws were again gracious enough to try again in watching our older two boys since my middle son had been sick the prior attempt. Therefore, my husband and I finally were able to spend a couple days just together and it was wonderful!
What I found though was this...not everything is as it is in my imagined expectations. I was anxious to have a break from my motherly tasks in caring for my two older boys and yet here after only 4 hours apart from them, I missed them terribly! Then, I'd been waiting to purchase this wonderful new purse & daytimer (remember, my obsessions) and my husband and I went on our date last night to the mall to purchase them! The expectations and time waiting were causing me to be so excited....I bought them & realized, the excitement in my mind was more than the actual purchasing of them. Don't get me wrong here, I'm enjoying them tremendously but the desiring them was more fun than the actual purchase....as well as the thought of my having a break from my boys was something I was looking forward to and then it comes & I just miss them. Time with my husband is so very important, but my heart is empty without my children around...even if they are fighting. The time with my husband though was very cherished.
I learned this week from the Lord.... showing me that when we finally get "what we think" we want, it doesn't lead to the joy and happiness that we thought it would....but that emptiness is still there. The material possessions don't lead to joy....the time away from the boys is nice, but there's nothing like having them with me, close to my heart. And this leads me all back to the lesson I learned earlier this week of dying to self. It's not in the actual "getting" that leads to joy, but for some reason in the sacrifice of the dying to self and only filling our hearts with the Lord will we be completely filled. We can search and search for "other" things in our lives, but all that will truly bring us contentment is Him.
7 comments:
Earen, I have thought these exact things so many times. Jason always says that most of the time, when you buy something, it only "feels" good at the checkout. I find that to be SO true...material things just don't satisfy the way they "promise" to in our hearts.
AND, in being away from your boys...I feel the SAME way. I remember missing Jack so much when I was in the hospital after Max's delivery. I thought it would be nice to have a few days where I didn't have to care for him all day, and could rest...but my heart just ached for him. Our motherly love sure is fierce, isn't it?
LOVED this post!
How true you are! I miss my children too when I am away----all of them! :)
How was it that your husband had 2 weeks off? That's great! I'm envious (in a godly way, of course)
Glad you were able to get away. And isn't good that you missed your boys? It'd be horrible if you didn't!! :)
I think that is a sign that you are growing closer to the Lord. While it's okay to get excited about "things", we know in the deepest part of our being that only Jesus is going to satisfy!
I love your heart for our Savior, you have encouraged me this morning!
God bless you and your sweet family!
steph.
Thank you for your encouragement this morning, sweet Earen!! This is a great post.
It is so exciting to see the Lord working and teaching in others lives.
At church on Sunday, the speaker talked about Solomon, and the book of Ecclesiates. About how he tried to deny himself nothing...buy whatever his heart desired, and give in to every temptation. But all he learned was that it is all meaningless. Apart from God, everything is meaningless.
Love you and your Jesus loving heart!! And yay for time with your hubby!!
The "desiring them was more fun the actual...'
These are the words that catch my attention. I think I need to remember that. Because I too will dream of moments away from my 3, away from mommy-hood, or for quality time with hubby, or time with a friend, and then my heart strings keep me here, even while I am away. The desiring is always more fun. Maybe my desiring needs to change. Should change to no expectation, to being surprised by the ordinary?
I think all mommys have that inner struggle - wanting time away but then when they get it all they think about is their kiddos. I am horrible about leaving my kids because I miss them and even feel a little guilty about it, but I am getting better it has only taken me until child number 3 to lose some of the guilt factor.
I like what Denise said about finding surprises in the ordinary! So true- sometimes we desire so much more but it is the little things, the ordinary things that can bring us joy. The little sacred things God has placed in our lives, the little glimpses of Him.
It is always bittersweet being away from the kids. This is beautifully honest and true.
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