There has been a lack of contentment, joy, excitement in my heart the past week and God is working in me. I go through these cycles every once in awhile & I must not be learning it each time so God sweetly strips everything so I come back to Him...wanting fully my heart.
My husband is a school teacher so he had a fabulous 2 weeks off with us and this week it's back to routine...to what I normally know everyday. He is the most amazing husband ever and more help to me than I can express. He gives me a little vacation when he's home helping me. But then, in a drastic sense of shock, he leaves me and goes back to work!! I enjoy getting back into routine, but I quickly forget how to handle things by myself & it takes a few days.
I found this lack of peace...lack of contentment that creeps its ugly head back up as my husband returned to work. I love my life, love my husband, love my children...it's my dream. My mom so sweetly reminded me that when I'm having these feelings that the Lord is trying to teach me something. So, what is it....does it go beyond trying to find contentment in Him and my ultimate joy in Him? I think this time, yes.
I've slacked in my time with the Lord...time in the Word & prayer & I see the Lord stripping me of all of the temporal that brings me "so called" joy and bringing me back to Himself. As I felt His voice whispering to me of Him wanting to spend time with me it was confirmed in the sermon my pastor spoke this past Sunday. He was speaking of Martha & Mary and that there is a need for a balance in our lives because you do need both, BUT NOTHING WILL SATISFY LIKE SITTING AT THE FEET OF JESUS. You see, I'd been seeking my joy in my husband being off work, Christmas, time of having help at home, lots of fun with the kids, dates with my hubby, and the list goes on. So, when it all came to a drastic halt & my "so called" joy was gone, I felt overwhelmed, empty, ready to give up. What I realized during all of this so called joy is that I had forgotten the true joy giver...I'd neglected Him and forgotten to heed His voice & sweet presence in my heart. I talked with my kids about Jesus' birthday and how important it was, but had forgotten to remember it in my own heart.
So, I desire and obsess with sitting at the feet of Jesus because in that comes eternal satisfaction.
12 comments:
Your truth and honesty is so refreshing. I needed this reminder today as I am feeling grumpy to be home without my husband and helper. It does take a few days to readjust.
Amen to that! I know exactly how you feel and I'm glad you shared what God has been calling you too - I needed to hear it as well.
Thank you for sharing this today Earen! It is so true - I have been feeling stressed and overwhelmed this week and I know I haven't been having my time each morning with Him like I normally would - I got out of the routine over Christmas and with the kids being sick - I know that He will give me the contentment and peace if I take the time to talk to Him and listen. Thank you for the great reminder!
I really appreciate how vulnerable and honest you are, Earen. Your heart is so tender and wants to please the Lord so badly...it is inspiring to see.
I was just thinking this morning of January. I was wondering how many people turn whole heartedly to God this month. After the excitement and anticipation of the holidays wears off, and we are left with winter. What a symbol of our need for Him. Without Him, we are in winter.
Thank you for sharing your honest thoughts. I am praying that your fire and passion for the Lord become even stronger than before. Love you!
Isn't it great that God is such a gentleman and that He gently leads us? Earen, I pray that as you seek Him, He will give you the desires of your heart. Delight in Him!
Just saw your comment at Short Stop's about shopping. I have to say I'm envious. I was just telling my husband last night that I can no longer go grocery shopping with all the children!! As a matter of fact, today I am e-mailing a grocery list for my husband so he can get them on his way home. :) Isn't he great?
I can certainly relate to this as my husband who is also a wonderful helper returned to work this week. My struggle for contentment shows up in so many areas of my life.
Enjoy your time with Him!
Earen, you are not alone in your feelings. I think we all struggle with discontent at time and it is a cycle with me too. I am doing Beth Moore's 90 Days with David and it is a great study. It takes only a few minutes a day. I know that there are days I cannot do it and I have to be okay with that.
I am right there with you, my friend!
I know exactly what you mean! If I dont spend time with Him, I feel the effects (and so does everyone else). Just this morning, I felt Him leading me to get out of my bed and on my knees. I was tired and wanted to sleep, so I did. The result was a chaotic morning filled with annoyances and squabbles. I had to repent and regroup.........I needed to hear this - the problem is I read it about 10 hours too late! ;-)
We sang a new song Wed. night and part of the chorus says "I am only satisfied in you.." those six words just jumped off the page and into my heart and I can't get them out of my head! How quick I am to try to find satisfaction everywhere else. Thanks for sharing what God is doing in your heart. You encourage me so!
Blessings
steph.
I agree with you! This is the best satisfaction ever! =) Again, blessed by you, Earen.
beautiful post! i just stumbled over here and wanted to say hi! i'll be back for sure :)
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