"Expectations kill relationships"
I read this quote on Holy Experience last week & it hit me strong. I have expectations all the time! Every year for my birthday I hope & somewhat expect that maybe I'll have a surprise party and when it doesn't happen I'm disappointed & it can sometimes overshadow all the wonderful things people did for my birthday. How terrible is that! Here people do all these lovely things for me & I come out of it still bummed....I know, this is hard for me to admit & I'm embarrassed at my selfish expectations. I feel I deserve & expect so many things in my life.
I expect & feel I deserve a certain material possession or expect certain things from my husband or the worse of all is expecting & feeling that I deserve things from the Lord. I should expect NOTHING from the Lord...I deserve NOTHING. He gave His life for me & if that's all I ever receive from Him, it's more than I ever deserved in a million lifetimes.
When I have these false expectations of so many things in life, it does kill relationships. I never thought of it that way. How much have false expectations influenced my relationship with others, my husband, my kids...and most importantly - my Lord. Why can't I just stop living a life of having these expectations? Then whatever does happen above & beyond is a wonderful surprise! Just enjoying each & every moment to its fullest. No expectations..just contentment.
Something I've been thinking a lot about....Lord, forgive this selfish woman who can at times be so self absorbed and expect life to be exactly how I think I deserve it to be. My life is not about me, but all about You. I desire expectations to be stripped from my life and instead filled with nothing so that when something does happen then I'll know I've been touched by You in a special way that day. Thank you for Your grace & love that sees this sinful heart and loves me in spite of it all.....
8 comments:
Oh, so THIS is why we're such good friends! :) Yes, I am the queen of letdowns -- meaning that I continually set myself up for them all of the time because of needless expectations. Another Earen inspirational moment!!
I totally agree with this quote. This is hard and I totally relate to you on the birthday thing! =)
Ouch. That was a direct hit, Earen. I needed to hear this. In fact, I think I need to hear this every day (atleast once) until I get it! I need to put that quote somewhere prominent.
The deleted comment was from me. I accidentally posted twice...sorry!
I have been humbled over and over lately about just how selfish I am. My mind just automatically shifts to 'waht about me' thinking, and I have been brought to my knees over just how wrong this is. Human...but wrong.
I have been thinking about expectations lately, too. It seems your posts are quite often written just for me. :)
Thanks for sharing. You are always inspiring to me!
This quote is so right on. I remember during our premarital counseling, we did this whole session on unspoken rules/expectations...and how they can really break down and hurt your relationship. My hubby and I come back to that over and over as we relate to one another day to day. Thanks for reminding me of this again, today...that even in my other relationships, it still applies!
I remember Elisabeth Eliott's definition of forgiveness: releasing someone from the debt we think they owe us.
Better yet... don't begin with the expectation of rights. This is so very difficult for me, too. As Lori often says, "It just is what it is..." and people just are who they are... if only I could really understand this, I am convinced that I would be a much happier person!
Thanks for sharing.
Jen
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