A little plug!

So, nothing deep today, but light-hearted Friday fun! I love Fridays...it means that my husband will be off for the next two days & I love having him home with us. But, this particular weekend my best friend Sharalee is visiting me from California! I'm SO excited as I miss her terribly. We met our Senior year of high-school & it was almost immediate friendship. I had prayed for a really close friend all my life and she's definitely an answer to prayer & was well worth waiting for. You know, that person who you have everything in common with...likes, dislikes, faith, & convictions. We've worked together, traveled a ton together before we were married, and did just about everything together before our loves came into our lives.

Well, almost 5 years ago her love moved her away from me....to a state far, far away. As hard as it was for me & still is, I know they were following what the Lord had for them seeing as he was going to pastor a church out there. Needless to say, it was like part of me was torn apart & I continually miss her like nothing else! I love her dearly!

So, this weekend I get to spend time with her & I can't wait. She's a sweet, sweet friend & blessing from the Lord..she's a kindred spirit & a bosom buddy. If you don't hear from me this weekend on my blog, well...that's why! And if you don't hear from me about "mini-me Monday" then you'll know I didn't eat well while she was here! HA!

So, a little plug for her...she makes & sells her own jewelry & it's beautiful! I've added a link to the side bar of my blog. Just go to it & click on "Designs by Sharalee" I get compliments on her jewelry I wear all the time!

Blogging friends...have a wonderful weekend filled with His sweet presence. May you always know the amazing depth of His love for you.

Declaring Your name....

The gentle wind as it sings its' praise, flowing through the leaves....
The changing colors as one season declares yet another....
The smell of rain as it enters through a window...
The sound of birds as they sing your praise...
All declare Your name.


The voices of my sweet children laughing - sharing an infectious joy...
The gentle kiss of a man I'm so in love with....
The touch of my infant as he holds on to me with everything....
The sweet quiet of knowing all is safe and warm...
All declare Your name...

The way you wrap your saturating presence over my heart...
The way your love embraces all that I am...
The way your blood washed away all that I was...
The way you sacrificed Your life...
I declare Your name...

My, how I love you Lord..forever declaring your name.

Trust & Wait....

"Dear friend, you do not have to understand all God's ways of dealing with you. He does not expect you to understand them. You do not expect your children to understand everything you do - you simply want them to trust you. And someday you too will see the glory of God in the things you do not understand."

"When I cannot understand my Father's leading,
And it seems to be but hard and cruel fate,
Still I heart that gentle whisper ever pleading,
God is working, God is faithful, ONLY WAIT."

These are a couple quotes that have really stuck out to me in my devotional reading this week from Streams in the Desert by Cowman. It's probably my most favorite devotional book because it's deeper & thought provoking..just in case you hadn't already realize that I like thinking deeper!

We might not know all that God is doing in our lives or why He's doing what He's doing, but we are called to Trust and Wait on Him. About a year ago, the verse in Proverbs that says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him & He will direct your path"...well, it really hit my heart strongly again. I've known the verse for what seems like all my life, but the part that says to trust in Him with all your heart & lean not on your own understanding....I meditated on that part for weeks. God really has absolutely no desire for us to have control or lean on ourselves & yet as humans, it's our first inclination to do so. What I realized is that God not only doesn't want us to lean on ourselves, but He doesn't want us to lean on our own understanding of the situation. God's ways are so much higher than ours & we think sometimes we have everything all figured out & then I'm humbled to a state of really knowing nothing & it's then again that I'm reminded that I'm nothing without Him.

Trust & Wait...forever learning.

Porch Light

Tonight I was driving myself & the boys home and observed child like faith in action. Caleb was explaining to his younger brother all about heaven & hell. How Satan used to be an "angel that would sing & wanted all the other angels to sing with him & he wanted to be king." How God threw him out of heaven & now he lives in hell. How we have to ask Jesus in our hearts in order to live in heaven and we don't want to live in hell. I realized that this 4 1/2 year old is listening and hearing the Words of Truth.

What happened next struck me dearly. Caleb looked up at what my guess was a star in the sky saying, "Mama, that's so bright!" "Yes honey", not really even knowing what he was looking at seeing as I was driving. Then he said, "That must be Jesus light." As if the Lord left a light on the porch of heaven. It was soul sweetness at its core.

Right before my very eyes, my little child was being Jesus light to his younger brother. Sharing with him the pure & simple ways of reaching heavenwards. There was no hesitation in sharing & there usually isn't with Caleb. He's definitely speaks his mind. It reminded me of how the Lord desires us to be a light to this dark world...not holding back...with no hesitation...abandoning all else for the sake of the Cross. Caleb was sharing with Benjamin without reservation.

I learn so much from my children. I desire to be a light to this world...to share without any reservation. To share the greatest gift I've ever been given. Then maybe after I share the Lord with them, they can look forward to one day reaching the porch light of heaven. Until then, we'll have to see "Jesus light" from here.

Mini-Me Monday

Is it really Monday again?! The accountability of expressing my week of weight loss is not always fun to do...especially when you don't do as well as you'd like. I feel right now as if I'm just taking baby steps. The eating aspect of my journey hasn't changed that much as of yet, although I do feel that I'm being a bit more careful as to what I decide to eat...or maybe I should say how much I decide to eat. I was proud of myself in that last week I did dump half a pan of wonderful, chocolate, soft,luscious , brownies down the drain. Oh, that was a hard one.....But, the exercise has increased and I feel as if I'm meditating on my Bible verse a lot more throughout the day...especially since it's posted right on my kitchen cupboard.

I express to friends that the desire to be healthy, eat well, & exercise is so deeply there & yet when the choice remains & is presented in front of me, I forget that desire. Why is that? I'm finding that same mentality goes beyond just eating & into quite a few areas of my life. Having the desire & yet the flesh takes over & sometimes wins....urgg. Our pastor spoke so eloquently yesterday about how the flesh is so strong & desires to take over at every opportunity. Living in the Spirit, even with issues like eating...that's what it's going to take.

I was watching the movie "Shadowlands" this past weekend. It's a short glimpse of the life of C.S. Lewis. If you haven't seen it, you should rent it! Anyway...in the movie he made this comment..."Experience, it's a brutal teacher but my how we learn." That quote can apply to so many areas of our life, but I was thinking of it relating to my eating. I have had the experience of my "out of control" eating being a brutal teacher, but if it had never happened would I have learned as much as I have in the Lord.

I don't know, some of these struggles we go through can be a blessing in disguise if we learn...learn in the Lord.

A little man for You...

Our sweet little Levi, we dedicated you to the Lord today - declaring you to be His in front of our fellowship of believers. Not one of salvation, but one of giving your life into His hands. As we your parents give you to the Lord, we pray that you choose to serve the Lord at a young age & passionately pursue Him all the days of your life. May your feet always walk in the ways of the Lord...always trusting where He leads you. May your hands serve others as the Lord would & passionately worship Him. May they always be outstretched in complete surrender to Him. May all that you are and ever hope to be find complete & deep love solidly rooted only in Him. May your voice speak passionately of His name and may your ears hear His still small voice in quiet ways as when you hear the winds flowing through the trees...knowing He's always there & always loving you even though you might not see Him now. And one day..may you see Him face to face & He call proudly, "Well done, my good & faithful servant."

I love you my dear, sweet Levi...you are a gift.

Bowing down...

I'm a HUGE fan of the TV reality show, Survivor! Much to my excitement, another thrilling season started last night & this year it takes place in China. We all know that China is heavily influenced by false religions, more specifically Buddhism. Some of you bloggers might have seen this, but as the show started, the players were asked to take place in a ceremony that was expressed to them as NOT being a religious one, but one of the China culture welcoming them. One of the players this year is a Christian radio talk show host. Of course I'm instantly a fan of hers! As this ceremony continues, they are led in bowing down in front of the huge Buddha statue. Being a believer myself, & being very familiar with the verse from the Word that says that you shall not bow down before any other false idols...I watched with much anticipation as to what she would do. As time went on, she ended up getting up & leaving the ceremony & then on national television expressed her views on why she didn't bow down & that she had a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Sitting in my living room I immediately shouted out, "Good for her!" She was ultimately given ugly looks by the other players as Jeff (the host of the show) questioned her as to why she left...then being labeled by others as the "Sunday School Teacher."

I have my holy anger with the world seemingly to "accept" whatever method works for you...until they run across a believer who has relationship with Jesus Christ. If we think this day & age is hard...it's only going to get harder for those of us who believe in Jesus Christ. I watched as this player (Leslie) left the ceremony & I had a moment of "believers pride"..so to speak. I was proud of her for taking a stand...and yet people all across this world are being persecuted for doing that exact same thing....for the name of Christ.

It caused me to think yet again...what am I taking a stand on in my life...being different from this world & mirroring the image of Christ? Leslie chose to take a stand & refuse to bow down...just like Shad rack, Meshak, & Abendigo in the Bible (ok, I don't know how to spell their names at all..it was a good guess!). They were put in the flaming fire for refusing to bow down before a false image & didn't get burned. But the fact is they were willing to get burned & die for the Lord. What in my life am I "bowing down" before? False idols that just don't display themselves as an actual idol, but they are. It has given me another day of something to evaluate in my own life...I desire Christ & Him alone.

I was really proud of this lady...she took a stand for Jesus!

In the same boat...

In the same boat...

One thing I've noticed in my short bout of blogging is the amazing gift of new friends. Ones in which I've never met (except for my Tara & Renee) or had over to coffee...but my heart is comforted by the fact that we seem to all be in the same boat.

I was telling my mom yesterday about you all and just how much you've encouraged me through reading your blogs. The amazing thing to me is that you are divinely writing without your even knowing it. Finding that we all are talking about a lot of the same things & struggling in the same areas of our lives....Exhausted, frustrated, overwhelmed, loving life, loving our husband & kids, growing in the Lord....we all are in the same boat.

I enjoy laughing with you all about the same things our kids do and say...I love seeing the pictures of your lives as if you're opening up a piece of yourself to me. I love the passion of your writing and the words you use to express every feeling inside of your soul. I cherish the encouragement in the Lord and all your challenging & convicting passions.

So this post is one especially dedicated to those of my blogging friends...you know who you are. I find great joy in reading about your lives & I thank you...thank you for opening up your hearts to me and allowing me to know that I'm not alone.

I encourage you all in the Lord & in His mighty power..remembering each & every day that God doesn't give you strength - HE IS YOUR STRENGTH. We can do this friends...you have been hand picked by the Lord God Almighty to raise these tiny hearts for Him...to be a loving support to your husband...and mostly to be a passionate heart for Him.

Thank you for letting me be in the same boat with you....

Isaiah 41:10
"Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will hold on to you with My righteous right hand."

Stuff

Caleb is a little delight to watch. He's grow up into such a fine little boy; even though he's just 4 1/2. I love watching the ways of my boys & how they take in life. I recently bought some "real" pencils for him, (not the mechanical ones) some erasers, & a pencil sharpener. You would have thought Christmas had come early! He has spent days sharpening those pencils & practicing his letters & numbers.

Here's the interesting thing that I'm finding in raising kids, you think it would be great fun to buy them all these toys and they think it will be wonderful & they play with it for 5 minutes & then they're back to sharpening a pencil, so to speak. Am I the same way? I walk through a store thinking an item might bring me so much happiness & it does make me happy for maybe a couple days & then it's back to the same feeling as prior to purchasing it. Everything just gets old after awhile.

So, why do we place so much emphasis in our lives on things & material possessions? Maybe because it's fun & fulfilling, only temporarily. Don't get me wrong, there are material possessions that I cherish dearly, but really I'm not taking anything with me when I go Home. Then why am I holding on so tightly? I'm not sure if it's necessarily about the stuff as much as it's about the heart behind the stuff...If our hearts were truly seeking the Lord, would He desire us to have all that we do? True contentment...one in which I really need to work on myself.

My mom recently told me of a family friend who got back from Africa and had an enlightening moment. She said that in Africa, the women would sit & listen to her for hours & the small children would just sit so very contented in their mother's lap...again, for hours. Can any of us honestly say that our children would sit for hours in our laps? Is it because I've inundated their world so heavily with stuff? Every mother longs to make their child happy...at least I do. But, like I've talked about in past blogs, it's not really all about being happy, but what am I teaching them about joy...Joy in Him.

Stuff, it clutters up our lives...maybe even blinds us to what matters most. I'm remembering that it's not all about these huge toys & fun things I buy for my children, but it's the simple pleasures of sharpening a pencil. And I keep pursuing the ever daily desire of leading my sons to the simple Truths of His Word & true contentment in Him...I think we will be learning it until we reach Eternity.

Waiting in Line....

My husband and I had the opportunity to go out on a date this past weekend. HOORAY for date nights, right?! We decided to go to a restaurant called Sweet Tomatoes. For those of you who don't know, it's a really nice salad bar with soup, baked potatoes, pizza, dessert...pretty much a delightful heaven of food! Hmmm...and I wonder why I didn't do well in eating last week??

Anyway...my husband and I pop in what we thought was a pretty person-less line at the salad buffet...considering there was just one lady in front of us. We wait...and we wait...while she takes her sweet time and decides to take one of each item & slowly place them on her plate, while reading the description of what each & every item is. "It's a cucumber lady!" We get to the slices of peppers & she slowly grabs one small slice at a time & slowly places them so nicely on her salad....did I mention SLOWLY! We finally get towards what we think is the end and she decides to read every kind of dressing there is and believe me, there are a lot. By this time, I turn to my husband who is behind me & he raises his eyes at me as if to say, "Oh my goodness, this lady is taking forever!" I then proceed to burst into laughter, but I can't be too loud about it because by this time I'm kind of trying to hover over her so that she'll get the hint to get going! We definitely had a good laugh.

How often have I been waiting...waiting for something in my life. We are in such a rush to get everywhere we need to go & do everything we need to accomplish for the day. What I'm finding though is that life is not waiting for me...it's rushing by. Is this of my own choosing because of my selection of busyness, or is time really going so quickly? When was the last time I picked the longest line at the grocery store in hopes of just taking my sweet time. When was the last time I took the long route to a destination in order to enjoy the view. How often do I rush through things with my kids and don't take time to enjoy their every moment....missing what could be a God-moment.

Our restaurant experience last night was a God moment. Even though we got a good laugh out of it, it caused me to pause and think...really, what is the rush? When I rush around and don't wait on Him, I feel this stressed hurried-ness inside..almost as if I'm anticipating the next dash of speed that needs to occur. How many God moments do I miss out on because I'm in such a hurry...thinking I need to get somewhere & "do", but forget that sometimes the most sweet encounters with the Lord, come in the waiting.

Maybe waiting in line isn't such a bad thing after all.........

Mini-Me Monday

Well, as promised....I'm having my "Mini-me Monday" (decided to change the name..thank you Tara!) update as to how my new weight loss adventure is coming along. Does purchasing 3 1/2gallons of ice cream this week count as "doing well?" Ok, don't worry...I didn't eat it all..they were just on sale..come on..on sale!! Let's just say it WASN'T a mini-me week..more like massive me week...disaster!! Ok, all truth is really coming out now! Before I got pregnant with my 3rd, I lost 32lbs on LA Weight Loss. Since the Lord allowed us to get pregnant again, I had to stop going to LAWL. I can officially go back & continue what I had paid for when I'm not Levi's sole form of nourishment. Seeing as I will start him on a little cereal in a couple weeks, here's what I realized.....I'M GETTING IT ALL IN NOW!! Once I go back, my junk food is all gone, out of here,as-ta la vista baby! So, instead of being so disciplined & working hard now, my mental thinking takes me to a place where I better load up now before I have to quit! Terrible I know..you can say it! I did exercise once though...progress!

So, here's what I discovered yet again...food has much more of a hold on me than I think & I'm convinced it's a spiritual battle! As I've talked about in so many of my blogs, I don't want to give it up & yet I have to...it's a must for me...I need to value more this life & the body the Lord gave me. No excuses anymore...Every last pound is my own fault & every last pound coming off will be only with the help of the Lord. Selfish desires have to die!

My friend Tara "Never a Dull Moment" gave me a great Bible verse the other day & I've been holding onto this. Hebrews 12:11 "No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening - it is painful. But afterward there will be a quiet harvest of right living for those who are trained in His way." So, here's my plan of action...every meal, every snack, every time I'm faced with food...I'm going to say this verse over & over in my mind until I make the healthy & right decision....replacing the Word of God with my own desires.

So, I start again! Here I go....

Never thought it would be me...

I watch you worshiping the Lord in church from afar....touching my heart

You lift your hands before the Most Holy Throne in awe & reverence...

You seek the Lord when no one is even looking, not longing for approval from others...

Your thoughts turn towards Him when times are tough....

Your ways show the integrity of a man who longs to be after God's own heart....

May the Lord watch over your heart always...

May He continue to give you favor in sight of God & man...

May the Lord continue to give you strength of character and softness of heart....

May He continue to give you wisdom as you lead us in His ways...

And may you always know my husband, my best friend...how deeply my heart loves you...

Never thought it would be me you'd choose....

Integrity....

Integrity to me means, doing the right & Godly thing when no one else is looking......

How many times do I say one thing & do another...."No kids, we don't eat cookies for breakfast!"...as I'm eating one the very next moment when they're in the other room.

How often do I do this in my walk with the Lord? The Lord has recently convicted me of this very strongly. Being so passionate about the desire of being set apart from the world and being called to a higher standard as a believer & then find myself enjoying a TV show that I know probably wouldn't be pleasing the Lord.

Saying one thing and doing another.....How can I be set apart from this world, and set a higher standard in my life if I'm not seeking His heart's desires for me in every area of my life & being obedient even when it's a harder decisions, not just being strong in the convictions that come easier for me.

Self indulged inner rights - wanting my way because I'm enjoying it for the moment, only to realize that truly the only way to fall away from Him is to give in to self...and again I'm a never ending vessel needing His refinement because I desire to ever be His.

Lord, break me of self so that I'm stripped of all that is me so that all that's left is You.

Making me laugh!!

Ok, so normally I don't do 2 postings a day, but I got this in an email from a friend & thought it was pretty funny & for the most part..true! I especially liked the "wages & compensation" part. Take a look when you have a moment!!

JOB DESCRIPTION- MOM

This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, no one would have done it!!!!


POSITION :
Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy, Momma, Ma


JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamin a of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not some one just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects . Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT &PROMOTION:
Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.


WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you gi ve them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.

Fun Friday!!

All is quiet in my home this morning...I'm up a bit earlier than usual as my little Levi decided he wanted some food! So, before the day gets busy & going I thought it would be a fun Friday to follow in several friend's blogs & allow you to get to know me! So, here goes...

Favorite movie: Anne of Green Gables & Anne of Avonlea...all of them really

Favorite food: Hamburger & Fries! Although I love Mexican food & brisket

Siblings: 2 brothers & a sister

Pets: Yes, I have a dog - but it's like having another child & sometimes not my favorite

Been married: 7 years to a wonderful man I met while playing volleyball

Favorite sport to watch: Basketball...that was my sport when I was younger, but enjoy watching volleyball & the Broncos!

Religion: No religion here...just a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Accepted Christ as Savior when I was 4 years old & baptized in front of my kindergarten class when I was 5!

Favorite thing to do: If I'm not with my family; it's going to a bookstore by myself & looking at a magazine with a cup of coffee!

Favorite vacation spot: I love the ocean! My ideal is to go to the beach & lay there all day with a good book/magazine

Favorite book: The Bible - honestly, I'm not a huge reader nor do I really have (make) alot of time for it.

Favorite dessert: Anything Chocolate!

Things I love: Purses, daytimers, & makeup!

So, there's a few tid bits about me...nothing deep or exciting today, but just FUN!!

Playing Cars...

I'm a girl, I love girly things...and the Lord decided to give me 3 boys. I love my boys...they are the delight of my heart and such a joy (most days!). I have 2 brothers myself, but it wasn't like I played legos, toy soliders, or cars. I did play cowboys with Joshua, but not far behind was my baby doll or a pretend bank awaiting my immediate attention. Yesterday my boys were playing cars and they wanted me to sit down and play with them. I took a moment to glance around my house & notice that dinner needed to be started, bathrooms needed to be cleaned, and I'm sure a hundred other things...but I sat down. We pushed cars down a race track for awhile & it was fun. They love their boy things; although they are very interested too at all the stuff I put on my face & the brushes I apply it with. But, it has been a new journey for me...growing & having fun with boy toys.

Earlier this week was rough on me. Overall I think it really wasn't my kids but more so me. My heart was full of selfish desire and I was taught & humbled by the Lord yet once again. In a moment of putting Caleb to bed, I started crying on him...poor little guy. But what surfaced again was truly evidence of an extremely sweet & sensitive heart within my 4 1/2 year old. He asked me what was wrong & I found myself expressing my thoughts in tears to a little man. When I was finished (he's going to be an excellent listener as a husband) he says to me, "Mama, how about after I play with one toy, I'll put it away before I get another one out?...thus trying to help with my frustration of constantly picking up. After a few moments of my singing to him in bed, he looks at me again and says, "Mama, how about when you vacuum tomorrow, you can leave me a little bit & I will help you." Talk about pulling a "self indulged" mom back into true humbleness. It was at that moment that I was pulled out of my own selfishness and graced by the love of a 4 year old.

So, as I play boy games and play cars with my boys, it's in those moments that I realize that I have little joys that have hearts full of gold.

Feeling pain...

I was watching a TV show last night & they made a comment that really stuck out to me. There was this little girl who thought she was a superhero because she couldn't feel any pain. What they found was that there was a chromosomal issue that when pain occurred she would never feel it. While trying to save her from an injury she didn't even know about the doctor said, "Pain isn't always a bad thing...we need to feel it."

When I think of pain, we think that it isn't a good thing & can make us feel miserable...at times to the point in which it would be better if God would just take us now! The pain of an injury, the pain of childbearing, the pain of a broken heart. There's always pain around us and at times in the midst of our own lives. I thought about all this in correlation to our relationship with God. If there was never any pain in my life...would I feel the need for a Savior? I think to my constant battle of losing weight & know for a fact that being disciplined & even times of exercise are what I would call pain. It's not fun...it hurts. Not only does it hurt physically, but it is a humbleness to my inner "right" to eat whatever I want at that moment; thus giving into my own selfishness. I don't think that pain comes from God, but I do feel like He allows it in our lives. Because hopefully for most people...at least in my case, it turns me back to Him. I think back to every painful moment I've had in my life & I honestly do turn to Him. Now, why it takes "pain" in my life to cause me to become closer to Him is a whole other blog.

After watching the TV show and hearing what she said, she's right. We need to feel the pain because if we don't, then we enter an extremely dangerous pathway of destruction. I guess it's all in your outlook on things The pain of an injury means that the Lord gave me a body that can function & be active..hopefully still active after the injury. The pain of childbirth means that I'm about to see my beautiful baby & the miracle of life. The pain of a broken heart means that hopefully I'm a stronger & wiser person through it.

The Lord is constantly refining & molding us. In the refining process, there's fire...fire can produce pain, but in the end a beautiful heart and soul is displayed.

Lifting my eyes...

"I raise my eyes toward the mountains. Where will my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth." Psalm 121:1-2

This is my verse for the week and one in which I wrote down on a notecard to recite over & over when it has just been one of those days! Yesterday was one of those days...constant. I know all you moms can relate to the fact that you just get the house cleaned, laundry done, everything looking nice & then it almost immediately starts all over. When I finally had a quiet moment when all the boys were down for naps, I opened what is the life giving Word to me...the Bible. I came across this verse and it immediately resonated in me. I memorized this verse when I was Caleb's age & still remember it to this day.

When I think about all the "big" stuff God has to take care of & all that He's done....the majestic mountains, the mighty ocean, the human life, an entire earth & expanse that He made...and yet He cares the greatest for me and every, tiny detail of my life....every thought, every feeling, every struggle, every joy...He cares. Not only does He care, but He longs to help us and carry us through.

To encourage us all in the every day events of life...no matter how easy, hard, or tiring things get...He is my help and as I keep my eyes lifted towards Him, I see that the majestic and glorious Heavenly Father loves me...in a way that no one ever can and that simply in itself is my help.

Never ending struggle...coming to an end...

One of my daily...moment...second to second struggles...Food! It's a daily battle & one in which I've struggled with for all my life. I love junk food! As a result of my love for food, I have this excess weight that just won't go away! :-) I know we all struggle with different areas in life, but the ups & downs of losing weight has been a constant in my life. I lost quite a bit of weight several years ago & then got married & had kids & it has slowly crept back on with addition. It's hard to admit you have an addiction or struggle with anything in your life, but mine is very visible & a constant reminder to me of my weakness. Thankfully, I try to keep my mind focused on a God that loves the inside of me, but also desires for me to treat His "temple" to the best of my ability.

So...today is "fresh & new with no mistakes in it...yet." (for those of you Anne of Green Gable fans!) I'm going to now have in my blog a weekly area in the side column in which you can see if I've lost weight. Then every Monday will be my..."Monday Miracle" update on how I did the whole week prior & what the Lord is teaching me. So, as I open up my heart every Monday, you might see the good, the bad, & the ugly, but I know that by doing this I'll have some accountability & desire for the Lord to work in me.

I'm not proud of this battle and I don't love having to work so hard in this area in my life...alas, I know the Lord can help me through this & it's only through HIS strength that I will be able to win! So there I am...poured out in all honesty...a struggle that has been a never ending one is being lost & forgotten to one that is going to end.

Seasons....

In Colorado today we are having a change of seasons. It's much, much cooler..so much so that my boys needed jackets when going to church. I love the changing of the seasons. I love the first warm day when we can finally break out the shorts....I love the first hot day when we can go swimming....I love the first cool day when you're tired of the hot weather & you can snuggle up under a warm blanket with a cup of coffee...I love the first snow as it blankets the mountains in all that is majestic. For our state, God made the seasonal changes very visible and I love it!

So many times I've thought about the "change of seasons" in my spiritual walk with the Lord. There are definitely dry times with Him, definitely very fruit-full times with him. You know how it is when you walk outside that first moment the season changes and you feel such a new joy & a deep breath of fresh air. I think that God takes us through seasons in our walk with Him. If I stayed in "winter" all the time, I might find myself getting sick of the cold (which I do!) - in the same way find myself cold to the ways of the Lord. If I stayed in the "hot" all the time, I would keep sweating constantly - and in the same way find myself burnt out when in fact I should be moving on. If I stayed in the "spring or fall" all the time, right in the middle (so to speak) - I might fall into the dreaded fear of being luke warm.

So for me...God changes things up & I'm grateful. He challenges me, molds me, refines me, & is ever in pursuit of my everything. I'm so glad for the seasons because God reveals Himself to me in way that causes me to bloom and that in itself is a whole other season.....

A Godly Heritage....

I've had two amazing women in my life...I mean, all my life. You know those women in your life who have made you who you are today & have impacted your life in so many different areas? It's a treasure to have these women in my life and as I grow older, I find more and more the true treasure that they are.

My Mama & Grandma...these are the two women that have impressed upon my heart things that will go on for generations to come. I think back at the many sacrifices that my mama made for me. The disciplines that she taught me...the treasures she showed me....the person in me that she loved without reservation. I think of my mama & grandma truly as the Proverbs 31 women. I aspire to be like them & find their example truly amazing. It's the little things that made life so wonderful....the china brought out for every special occasion...the trips to McDonalds when money was so tight & we split a small fry....the darling little lawn chairs my grandparents brought when they visited us....always remembering true "womanhood" and how to conduct ourselves....the encouraging talks...the help with my homework...the never-ending sacrifice of giving it all for me.

I'm so very thankful though for one very important passion they both handed down to me. The deep, love relationship that I have with my Heavenly Father. My Mama & Grandma are two of the most godly women I know & sometimes I joke that if you want to know what God thinks, you should ask my mom because she will pray & He will tell her! But really, it's true...they both have a special pathway to God's heart. They've taught me what a woman of God looks like...giving of yourself constantly, when self becomes lost in Him. They've taught me that this life pales in comparison to the glorious eternity I will spend with Him & they gave me the precious gift of knowing the Savior...not one of religion, but a true relationship with a God that loves me and gave up everything for me. They truly passed on a heritage to me that has been the greatest gift ever.

Even though I don't have girls to pass on the "girly" things that I learned from my mom & grandma, I think...no, I know I will pass on the most valuable & cherished gift on to my boys and that is the love of the Father. It's a big responsibility to take on in being a parent...pointing your children towards the Cross. But I'm honored that the Lord chose me...not only in the gift of my boys, but that He chose me to be loved by such an amazing Mama & Grandma.

Now I have three amazing women in my life though...ones that love me & share their lives with me. My Mama, Grandma, & now my Mother in-law. And my cup runneth over....

Persistence

My older son Caleb is trying to figure out so many new things. The other day we worked for awhile on how to blow a bubble with his gum. I remember when I was little, I sat in front of a mirror for what seemed like hours trying to achieve the art of blowing a bubble with my gum! He's also working really hard on trying to figure out how to tie his shoe. So we continue to practice until he finally gets it!

As I was helping Caleb figure out how to blow a bubble, we found that we were laughing together & having fun trying to figure it all out! It took me a moment of trying to blow a bubble myself to remember how exactly to do it because I don't even have to think about how to do it anymore. Flatten your gum with your mouth....put your tongue through the middle of the flat part & while you're holding on to the edges with your mouth...blow. What?! Sounds kind of odd to explain in words...I just do it now.

Persistence eventually turns into unacknowledged habit. I desire that in my walk with the Lord. I "practice" so much and do things like being in the Word & prayer that is just become second nature and I don't even think about it anymore...I just do it! Over & over...studying the Word so that as I read it, I go deeper and eventually just start "blowing." The Lord desires us to hide His Word in our hearts. Inhigh-school I had to memorize the book of James twice. To this day, I remember passages of it & find that those verses come to my mind as I'm going through a situation.

I long for my love & passion for the Lord to continually just become like a bubble that is blown over & over, after being ever faithful in my persistent practice of it.

Falling into Him....

This morning was an earlier one for me as Levi decided he was hungry at 6am. I get him and bring him to the living room rocking chair to feed him and I find my husband on his knees in prayer at the couch. I was convicted....when was the last time I actually got on my knees to pray to the Lord? It was such a beautiful sight. For at that moment I saw again in my husband a man of prayer & passion for the Lord. What desire He has to pursue the things of the Lord and be in prayer for our family everyday. As the spiritual leader of our home, I find such great comfort in the fact that he realizes that the Lord has anointed him to lead our family in the ways in the Lord. Truly, what an example he is.

Prayer is such a discipline that I strive for. As a mom, I find that I'm saying little prayers throughout the day, but I'm sure...no, I know that the Lord would love if I would spend quality time with Him everyday just like I do my children and husband. I know the Lord loves us on our knees...I'm not sure that it's really vital in speaking with the Lord as I like to view the Lord at times as a friend I just converse with all day. BUT, I know that the art of being on our knees is a true humbleness in relentless prayer as we pour out our heart to God. There have been many things in my life that have brought me to my knees in prayer...at a moment of desperation I fall into Him. Maybe that's where God desires us most...on our knees, falling into Him.

C.S. Lewis quote constantly visits my mind..."Prayer doesn't change God, it changes us." Whether is be on our knees or conversing with Him throughout the day, I do know this..my heart is changed. For I long for His heart's desires to be mine and maybe I should revisit falling into Him.

Missing my Caleb....

I walk back into my home this morning and it's a bit more quiet...
Tears swelling up in my eyes...
I'm letting you go a little bit more today dear one...
You're off to a world that can be cruel and disheartening....

I won't be there when you fall down & scrape your knee, kissing it as I always do...
I won't be there from moment to moment and see your eyes light up at new ideas & thoughts...
I won't be there to experience every detail like I have been for the last 4 1/2 years....

It's way harder today than I thought it would be...
Letting you go a little bit more from my hands and committing you even more into His...
I know though that you'll love every moment of learning & experiencing new things...

But for every moment I can't be there, I know He always is...
For every cruel word or moment with another, I know He'll comfort you...
For every scrape you experience, He'll be there to wipe your tears...

May the Lord keep you under His wings and may know how much I already miss you...
I love you my sweet Caleb....

Happy Birthday!

Today is my 32rd birthday and if you know me at all, you know I LOVE my birthday. My humble thoughts are this...It's a day all about me! Ha! I know, it's terrible - but my childhood excitement arises on this day! I've known the Lord as my Savior and have been a Christ follower for 28 years now and my heart longs for Him. I hope that the Lord looks at my heart and can say that every year I've become more in love with Him.....

May my heart ever long for You....
May my life breathe your love with every breath I take....
May my soul yearn for You with relentless passion....
May my words be like music to your ears....
May my thoughts and actions find closeness to your heart.....
May my desires be yours alone....
May You know that I'm always Yours.......

May my life be an ever testimony to Your unfailing love....
May I always long for a deeper love relationship with You...
May all I do point others to the Cross....
May Your sweet presence saturate my life....
May I always long to be obsessed with loving You....

As my birthday comes again this year, I'm forever grateful to a God who cares so deeply for me...my hurts, my joys, my life....

For without Him, my life would be pointless...yet again this year, I find myself forever changed by His love.

More of You.....

Lord, thank you for the unexpected blessings of joy that come to my heart's door.
When I least expect it and at times get discouraged and wonder...
Am I making a difference for you in the world?
It's then that you do more than I could hope or dream.

Strength comes when I hear a sweet whisper of love from You.
Cherished joy comes when I receive a hug from one of my "little loves."
Encouraged kindness comes when I receive a sweet card from a friend.
Love comes when a kiss from my husband stretches to my lips.
Gratefulness visits when I am again reminded of all You've done for me.

Much to my shame - hidden beneath the layers of me is a woman who
desires the approval and acceptance of man. It's not a desire of noble calling,
but alas one of human.

Sweet reminders come when humble Life speaks truth to my soul.
True contentment comes when your hand of love says, "All you need is Me"
....and I remember that my life and heart belong completely to You....

Distractions....

Yesterday morning, like so many of my days was spent with distraction after distraction. My mom was having some special one-on-one time with Caleb; therefore I only had two children to care for. I got Levi fed and put Benjamin in his highchair to eat his breakfast. I got my breakfast prepared and going in the microwave. I think...I'll just go quickly and make my bed...then on my way to make the bed I pick up a few toys on the floor. While I'm making my bed, I decide to grab the burp cloth on my floor and put it in Levi's dirty clothes. But, while I'm in his room I realize that I need to change his sheets because his diaper leaked. After making his bed I hear Levi getting fussy in his swing and decide it's time to put him down for his morning nap. I head out to the living room where he's in his swing and so diligently put him down for his nap, but not before I think I should grab his laundry and get that started....heading down to the laundry room, I put a load in and get that started and then grab Benjamin's clothes for the day to bring up stairs & get him dressed after he finishes eating....Meanwhile, my breakfast is now venturing towards the side of cold, so I re-heat it. While it re-heats I decide to empty the dishwasher. My breakfast is finally warm again and I finally get to sit down to eat and I realize that I left my water bottle in the other room. So, I get up to get it & head back into the kitchen to eat & finally sit down and then I hear Benjamin say to me...."Mama, I'm all done...get out?"

Does this sound like one of your mornings? Some might call these things distractions, but I call it having the privilege of being a mama! Always someone depending on you...always something to do...always cleaning up...always cooking a meal....always....

As a wife & mom, I always have responsibilities in my life, but I wonder what things become a distraction in my growing more in love with the Lord. Always an email to check...always a dish to put away...always a toy to clean up. When do I stop and take a moment to listen to His still small voice whispering my name and desiring my full attention? Is my first, my best always given to Him? Do I spend time in the Word and prayer like I should and make that my first priority...because I know that once I do that, it makes all the difference in my day. What do my distractions take me away from....Him?